


Satyriasis

by dreanauert18



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, Sex Addiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-09 14:36:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 34,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13483545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreanauert18/pseuds/dreanauert18
Summary: "They say you gotta refrain to get rewarded, but fucking is an addiction. The more you fuck the more you want it."When you have a persistent sense of heartbreak and gut-wrench, the physical sensations become intolerable and we will do anything to make those feelings disappear. And that is really the origin of what happens in human pathology. People take drugs to make it disappear, and they cut themselves to make it disappear, and they starve themselves to make it disappear, and they have sex with anyone who comes along to make it disappear and once you have these horrible sensations in your body, you'll do anything to make it go away.





	1. Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Therapist, Doctor Anderson, trails through the snow to her job.
> 
> Which man will it be?
> 
> Does he do more than use his vulgar words?
> 
> Why did he cheat?
> 
> Is she ready for sex?

Snowflakes stick to my eyelashes and I hear the quiet murmurs of shy girls gossiping. I frown to myself, noticing how nobody seems to be themselves. These girls look too cute and optimistic to be talking about others in the ways that they are.

I bring my hair back, setting my coffee down on the table in Biggby's. While checking my watch, I mentally groan. Well, I should feel lucky that I got myself a small coffee instead of my usual large.

Rushing out of the shop, I pass by a few people smoking cigarettes. Some warming their hands over a fire. And a few huddled together like penguins. My eyes search the city for the building I work at and I manage to locate it through the cloud of snow floating down on to my face.

The people around the city push through the large crowds and I try my best to join them. After what feels like a year of walking through an ocean of people, I squeeze through and jog over to the tall building that I work at.

I open the doors and guide myself into the warm air of the place and over to the elevator which consisted of two tattooed guys and a blonde girl. I nod at them giving the three a simple 'good morning'. They all smile at me and say the same back and the elevator opens to the floor I'm on. Surprisingly, the others walk out too.

I pass by a few of my patients who have appointments soon and I give them all a welcoming smile.

-

Satyriasis;  
/ˌsatəˈrīəsis,ˌsā-/  
noun  
uncontrollable or excessive sexual desire in a man.

-

Being a Therapist isn't exactly the easiest job but it's definitely not the hardest. You see, I've gone through practically everything that my patients are going through now so I know how to help them fight through their debacles.

When I was younger, my Therapist told me how I would fit this job perfectly. At first, I didn't believe the man. Look at me now. I'm sitting in my own 'office', my notepad tucked into a manila folder.

My clock beeps, telling me that my first patient's appointment is ready and I stand up from my black, leather chair and open the door to call out their name.

"Elizabeth Tremblay," I mutter, not wanting to disturb other sessions going on. Elizabeth looks up from the magazine she's flipping through and sets it back on the table beside her. I step back into the room, glancing at the clock. Eight thirty sharp.

I motion for Elizabeth to take a seat on the leather couch facing me and she does so. As I open my folder to grab my notepad, she bursts out into tears.

I point my pen at the tissue boxes and she grabs a couple to keep in her hands. Elizabeth blows her nose and dabs at her cheeks to wipe off the tears. I silently wait until she feels ready to begin speaking about what is happening to her.

After a few moments, she gets herself back together and starts speaking. "I'm interested in two guys and they're close friends except I don't know if one of them is interested in me like their friend is."

I nod, writing a few notes down.

"What're their names?" I ask her, trying to get a clearer picture.

"Jason and Nathan," she tells me and I write that down too.

"Is there anything else?"

She shakes her head, 'no'.

"Which guy is which?" I ask Elizabeth. "which one is interested in you?"

"Jason is interested, I'm not sure about Nathan."

I repeat the writing action and I review my notes that I've gotten so far. "What kind of people are they?"

"Jason is more shy and nice," she replies, shifting in the couch and playing with a string on her destroyed skinny jeans. "Nathan...he's hard to figure out. He's nice but cocky. He doesn't exactly know how to treat girls when they like him and he says it's because girls didn't usually like him when he was younger. I don't know...he's just a closed door that refuses to open."

"Okay so, shy Jason and mysterious and secretive Nathan," I mutter as I write both of their 'traits' down on the paper sitting on my lap. I pause and stare at a Vincent Van Gogh painting that hangs on the wall just above the couch. I try to think of any questions to ask about Jason but he seems too boring to ask about. "What makes you like Nathan?"

"I guess I'm just attracted to his secrets."

"Meaning?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"I want to know more about him," Elizabeth confesses. "he's just a huge ball of bundled up emotions that he won't tell anybody about and I want to be the person that he tells."

"So, putting the pieces together, you only think you like Jason when you truly are into Nathan."

She ponders for a few moments and then nods, yes.

"Well, Elizabeth," I cross my arms over my chest, putting my feet up on the footrest in front of me. "one of the best things that you can do is confront him. Tell him how you're feeling and don't let him get to you...ever. I've been in that situation too many times to forget. Tell Nathan that you aren't looking for any funny business and that you just want a serious discussion; I expect you would from how you're feeling." I glance at the clock and notice how she is a couple of minutes past the time and stand up from my chair. "now go out there and kick some ass. Show Nathan what he's been missing."

I bring Elizabeth in for a hug and tell her that I believe in her to stand up to Nathan and that I'll see her in a week if nothing comes up. I close my door and check my schedule. I take a deep breath preparing for this next girl. Walking out of my office, I step past other patients and I grab the key for the restroom.

Once I get to the bathroom, I sigh, trying to convince myself that this next patient will share the good with me instead of the usual badness mixed with tears.

I splash some water on to my face and dry it with a paper towel. My senses tell me that I've kept her waiting long enough and I quickly step out of the washroom and back to the waiting room where I find her sitting, staring at the cover of a magazine. Her blonde-almost white-hair stood in a bun today and a feather tattoo on her neck is noticeable. She follows me into my office and takes a seat on the couch where everybody sits.

"Okay, Miss Skye Toews, any news this morning?" I brace myself for the worst. The straight look on her face doesn't go away as she opens her mouth to speak.

"I think it's getting better," she replies. I nod, writing that down on a different sheet of paper.

"Explain to me, what exactly is getting better?" I question her, putting my pencil behind my ear and leaning back in my chair.

"He's hurting me less," she says, quietly. Skye speaks again after clearing her throat. "I mean, Brent's hurting me less."

I nod, seeing a path of improvement for Skye's future. Then, my eyes widen, knowing she's hiding something.

"Is it just verbally?"

She shakes her head, no.

"So he's been physically abusing you this entire time and you didn't think to tell me?" I feel tears threatening to spill. Skye nods and I gasp with surprise and anger. "honey, this may sound hard, but you need to get out of that relationship as soon as possible. I refuse to let you deal with a man abusing you."

"I know, but I love him." Skye...

"You may love him, but the sad truth is, I'm not here to lie and tell you that you two are going to live happily ever after because realistically," I begin. "he doesn't love you for your heart. He loves you because he has something that he can control; just like a pet."

"You don't understand, this isn't him," she argues and I put my face in my hands. "Brent isn't like this. He never hits me."

"Skye, I understand that," I try to think of something to tell her. "I know, when you love someone it's difficult to let go. But when they're abusing you, that's not something you should be dealing with...does Jonathan know?"

Skye shakes her head. "Jonny's rarely home anymore and when I tell him what's happening, he doesn't believe me because according to him, Brent's this sweet guy who wouldn't hurt me."

"That's not right, Jonathan is your brother," I put my fingers on the bridge of my nose. "I can't think of any reason for him to tell you that Brent is someone that he's not instead of believing you."

"Apparently Brent says all of this romantic stuff about me when I'm not around," she takes a deep breath. I can tell she's fighting tears. "Brent says all of that crap when I'm not there then when I am, he talks down to me and judges me for the tiniest things."

I think for a moment about if she's spoken to any of Brent's friends about the whole situation. "Have you spoken to any of Brent's friends about this?"

"I mean, I've tried but I'm never able to get my point across."

"How so?"

"I'll start talking about it but before I can even tell them what he's doing, he interrupts and doesn't let me finish talking," Skye confesses.

"Do you have any of their numbers?"

She nods and pulls her phone out. She scrolls through her contact list and finds someone. "There's Duncan."

"Call him," I tell her, keeping my voice at a calm tone.

She sighs and presses call.

"Speaker," I tell her and she changes the settings to 'speaker'. I hear the dull tone telling us the phone is ringing and after about three rings, he answers.

"Hello?" he says in a scratchy and exhausted voice.

"Hi, Duncan, I'm sorry did I wake you up?" Skye says in a nervous voice.

"Yeah, but it's okay, why arere you calling?" he questions.

"I just need to tell you something."

"What is it?" Duncan asks.

"Brent's been abusing me," Skye mutters, beginning to tear up. "I don't know why. I don't know what I did. Why does he have to do this?"

"Wait, Brent abuses you?" he nearly yells into the phone.

"Yes," Skye grabs a tissue and dabs at the tears falling down her cheeks.

"Report him to the police, put him behind freaking bars," Duncan says, clearly trying to calm himself down. "hell, I'll call nine-one-one, you don't deserve the crap he does to you. Just...whatever you do, don't go home until I tell you that it's okay."

"Okay," Skye says, full out sobbing.

"I'll talk to you soon, okay?" he tells her. "it'll all be okay, I promise. Stay safe, Skye."

Skye sits on the couch shaking and Duncan hangs up the phone. I stand myself up and walk over to the couch to comfort her.

"Hey, listen to me, I know how much you care about him, but you deserve someone who'll touch you the right way and that's not Brent," I tell her while rubbing her shoulders and staring at the time. I notice how there's only a minute left of her session. I stand us up and grab her another Kleenex and she blows her nose and I pull her in for a hug. "now, Skye, I want you to stay here in the waiting room for a little while. You'll be safe and sound and it's okay if you cry. Everyone here has shed a few tears here and there in my office and none of them should have to feel ashamed about it because crying is a natural thing that sometimes you can't help. So, take a seat out there and have Duncan come pick you up when he says it's okay to go."

She nods and thanks me, sniffling and steps out and takes a seat on an empty chair. I check my list and see how my next patient is one of my easier patients. They're almost always content and I pray to God that they're like that today.

"Tina Blues," I call out. Tina looks up after keeping her eyes on her phone and gives me a smile. I smile back at her and she follows me into my office.

She takes a seat on the couch across from me; just like everyone else has today. I take a seat in my chair and I grab her papers and look through them. All of them say good things about how she and her boyfriend, Jackson, are.

When I look up, I notice a frown on her face and I mentally swear to myself. This isn't going to be good.

"He cheated on me."

Damn it. "He what?"

"Jackson cheated on me with a random girl in a club," Tina tells me without any expression on her face at all. I mentally begin bawling my eyes out. Gosh, this job is so hard.

"Were you with him?" I question her.

"No, I was at home, sick," she replies. I nod and write this down.

"How did you find out?"

"His friend told me," Tina tells me. What's with nobody being honest these days?

"Did he send you a picture? Video? Just words?" I quiz, trying to get more information out of her instead of these short answers.

"Phone call," Tina says to me. "it was really hard to hear and since I was sick, I didn't think it was real. Then, the next morning I was getting tagged on social media in multiple posts of Jackson and the girl. So, we fought and it was brutal. I left, and I haven't seen him since."

"So, friend calls, you don't believe it, then you wake up, get tagged on social media and then you two fight, tell me if I'm getting any of this wrong," I pause before Tina nods, saying everything is good, and I write all of the information down on my notepad. "other than all of that, how else are you doing?"

"Eh," she answers me.

"Why just 'eh'?" I ask, feeling stupid.

"I haven't gone over to the suites to see my friend, Aria."

"Well, why don't you ask her to come see you sometime?" I suggest.

"I don't want to make her come to my place just to have me end up in tears," Tina explains and I want so badly to tell her she's being unreasonable but I can't bring myself to do so.

"Well...have you and Jackson at least tried to talk it out?" I question her. She shakes her head, no. I sigh, knowing this session is going to feel longer than it should. "Tina, eventually you two are going to have to. Whether it's tomorrow or years from now, it's bound to happen. You two were too tight of a couple to just forget about each other just like that. It's not that simple...now I know, it's weird coming from someone who hasn't been in a relationship in years but if there's anything about them that I know, it's the fact that getting over someone you love is possibly one of the hardest things anybody could ever try."

Tina looks up at me, a small sign of hope showing in her eyes but she doesn't smile. "Do you really think so?"

"Honey, I know so," I tell her and she finally curves her lips into a small grin. She probably thinks I don't notice but I do. Even the slight curve in someone's lips is noticeable.

That's the thing about being a Therapist. Although we wait for the patient to tell us how they're feeling, we can already sense it. Sounds pretty creepy if you ask me, but it's one of the raw facts of Social Sciences. In any of the subjects that branch off of it, the people studying them know what to expect and they have a sixth sense.

I have a sixth sense of knowing the tiniest details before my patients even spill the beans to me.

When I see that frown on my patients' face, I can tell that something isn't right and as soon as I saw the frown on Tina's face, I knew something terrible had happened. I'm not here to make her life perfect and I'm not here to make her life a living hell. I'm just here to tell her what's right for her to do and to inform her of anything that will make her feel better instead of worse.

"It'll happen someday, Tina, just keep your patience."

She smiles at this and I do the same back at her. When I check the time, I notice how we went a little over the time and I mentally curse.

"Well, I hope all goes well, and if you want, I'd like for you to talk to the girl with the blondish white hair out there," I tell her before standing up. "her name's Skye and she really needs some comforting right now. So, if you could do that for me, it'd be great."

"Sure, I can," Tina replies, nodding.

"Thank you so much," I smile and stand up, bringing Tina in for a heartwarming hug. "just remember, you are an amazing girl and he'll be back sooner or later, I promise. I'll see you next week."

Tina nods and smiles at me and I open the door for her to step out of my office. I watch her sit down beside Skye and the two immediately jump into a conversation.

I walk back into my office and check my list to see that I have a new person. Generally, my patients are female but this one just happens to be male. Taking a step back out, I notice how the three people that I saw in the elevator are still here.

I shake that thought from my mind and call in the next person.

"Jamie Benn," I speak and surprisingly, one of the guys from the elevator stands up and gives me an ashamed look. Oh God, it is the Twilight Zone all over again. Both of his friends offer to go with but he tells them that he'll be perfectly fine on his own. The other tattooed guy gives a sigh of exasperation and looks at me as if he's warning me about something. I brush that off and walk back into my office.

Once Jamie steps in, I motion for him to take a seat on the couch. For a few moments, he and I just stare at each other awkwardly. Well, I wouldn't say 'awkwardly' is the right word for it but the look on his face is so intense. I can already tell how difficult he'll be to read.

I clear my throat and begin talking. "So, Jamie, you're new here, is there anything in particular that you would like any guidance or help with?"

"Addiction."

"What're you addicted to?" I begin. "drugs, alcohol, gambling?"

"Sex," he says, simply. Holy crap. I nod in response and write that down on the clear notepad sitting on my lap.

"Would that mean that you're a player of some sort?" I question him.

"Nope, it just means what it means," Jamie replies. "I'm just addicted to sex and girls leave me because of it."

"Do you care about these girls?"

"Yes, of course," he nods. "they just feel intimidated by my needs for the sexual nature. I don't screw around, I get girlfriends and they never stay."

"Do you have sexual intercourse right away in the relationships?" I ask him. Now that was a stupid question.

"Yes."

I write this down and bite my pencil, pondering on the entire subject. This man, might I say attractive man, is addicted to sex yet can get girlfriends without screwing around with other girls.

"And you're one hundred percent sure that you're being honest with me?" I quiz him.

"Of course, I can't think of lying to you," he tells me with all seriousness.

I glance up at him and find it hard to look away. He doesn't even look like the type of guy to be addicted to such thing. The overall vibe that he's given off hasn't matched the usual vibes given off by men with excessive sexual desire. Jamie is more difficult to figure out. 

"Jamie, did anything happen to you to cause you to get addicted?"

He shakes his head, no. I take a deep breath and stare at my notes for a few seconds. I tap my pencil on the notepad and push a few parts of my hair that have fallen on my face.

"Tell me more about yourself," I cross my arms over my chest.

Jamie raises his eyebrows in surprise but still starts listing off various facts about himself. Whether it's about his family or about his childhood, it doesn't bring any answers that would explain why this happened to him.

"When did you start engaging in sexual intercourse?" I ask him.

"Around my junior year in high school," Jamie answers me.

"List off any specific events that went on in that year," I say.

"Well, I enrolled to be in sex ed. and I was the most innocent guy in the class," he tells me, blushing. Lord, the kid was an innocent seventeen-year-old. "the kids made fun of me because I didn't know how to put a condom on."

"There's a generally solid explanation right there," I point out.

"What do you mean?"

"These kids bullied you because of your innocence so you wanted to show everyone just how bad you could be," I explain to him. "which then leads you to have sex with someone and one thing led to another and boom, you've got a serious addiction."

"I guess that could be a reasonable...reason," Jamie shrugs.

"Tell me, does the sex make you feel high?"

"Uh, it used to but not as much as when I first started," he answers me.

I nod and jot that down on my notepad. The sex is just like marijuana to him. The first drag throws you off the hinges and makes one feel great but then one time after another won't feel as good as the last.

"You see, Jamie," I start. "that's the sad part about addictions. Just like with smoking marijuana, you'll get high every time but you won't feel that 'great' high that you did the first time. It's just like one of Drake's albums...Nothing Was The Same. The very first time you had sex, I bet it was great but no matter how many times you try to get it like that again, it'll never be the same."

"No matter how many times someone tries to tell me that, it never works."

I sigh and look at him. "But you know it's true."

"I know, but I don't want to believe it," Jamie confesses.

I wonder about the entire situation for a moment and find myself thinking about how long this has been going on for. That could help me figure out what I would need to do to help him overcome this addiction.

"How many years has this been going on?" I ask, completely dreading the answer I'm about to get.

"You're going to want to drop me, but eight," he answers me. "they've tried getting other Therapists to help me but none have been able to solve my case. They've either feared me or I've feared them."

"How would you fear them?"

"They'd threaten me in a way to try to get me to not have sex but it'd never work and I'd quit on them before they could attempt to help me," Jamie informs me.

"Well, Jamie," I begin saying. "I'm here to help you. I'm not going to threaten you in any way possible. We will take our time so you'll be comfortable and we will get you through this rough patch. You just have to promise you'll cooperate with me on this."

"I'll try my best," he replies, clearly unsure about how this will work.

"It'll work out in the end, I promise," I tell him and all he does is shake his head, up and down, at me.

Then Jamie looks up from his lap and stares deeply into my eyes. I feel something spark in the space between us and I dodge the feeling and push my hair out of my face. "What's your name?" Jamie asks me, throwing me off completely from the initial subject.

"Dr. Anderson," I answer him.

"I know that I can see your name tag on your desk," Jamie laughs. "what's your first name?"

"Cecilia," I mutter, feeling my nerves build up. His sexual desire is so strong you can feel it in the air. I clear my throat. "my name is Cecilia."

He nods his head and crosses his arms over his chest. I can tell he's trying to control his urges and the fact that he could break at any moment terrifies me.

"Jamie," I say to him.

"Hmm?"

"Take deep breaths, you can control this," I almost begin standing up from my chair but my fear tells me that I shouldn't step towards him.

"I don't think there's a way to stop this, my body craves to be touched, my fingertips are itching to touch someone," Jamie says, his voice raising a little. "it almost hurts."

"You're stressing yourself out from thinking about it too much."

Finally, I'm able to stand myself up and take slow steps towards him and he looks up at me, pleading for the drug he calls 'sex'. This can end in one of two ways; either I calm him down and get him strong enough to last today without having any more urges or the other way. He takes me right here in this office.

I pray to God that I can get him out of here without having to fulfill his needs. He can't just have sex with me in my office and even if I wanted it, it still wouldn't happen because he came here for a reason and that's to fix Jamie's problem, not make it worse.

The next thing I know, Jamie is sobbing his eyes out, shaking uncontrollably. I decide on putting my hand in his and rubbing my thumb against the skin between your index finger and thumb. "I'll help you get through this, alright?"

"Okay," he whispers in between deep breaths. I grab him a Kleenex, placing it in his rather large hand.

"Here you go, blow your nose, dry your cheeks," I mutter and wrap my arms around his shoulders. "you'll be okay."

"I'm so freaking nervous for all of this," Jamie lets out a shaky sigh.

"Why?"

"What if they hear what I have to say or do?"

"Don't worry, Jamie," I take a deep breath before continuing. "it's just you and me in here. The walls are soundproof and nobody will hear a thing except for us." I tell him this regretting every single word of it. I just gave a sex addict more ideas.


	2. Day Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecilia is still not sure if she is ready for sex.
> 
> Can Jamie convince her without force?

After around my sixteenth patient today, I embarrassingly find myself dozing off. My patient looks at me as if I don't care about what they have to say.

"Doctor Anderson, if you don't care about this, I can just get going," they tell me and I groan and wipe my hands over my eyes.

"I'm so sorry Danielle, I've been having a stressful day," I rub my forehead.

"You always tell me that," she sighs, obviously frustrated with me.

Danielle Reeves. For ages, I've been trying to help her fix her attitude problem. It's getting better, but now, I'll have a harder time managing. With Jamie scaring the living day lights out of me, I'm not sure how I'll even get through the day without passing out.

"Allow me to explain myself," I take a deep breath. With Danielle being sixteen, I'm not even quite sure if she'll understand.

"Okay."

"Around say...ten in the morning," I begin. "I have a patient and let's just say his case is serious."

"What is it?" Danielle questions me.

"He has an addiction and it has me tired out," I explain. "the guy believes that there's no way to fix him."

"How can he tire you out?" Daniella snorts. Of course.

"Because, although mental stress isn't physical, it still tires out your brain," I have to try my hardest to not roll my eyes at her. I pause for a few moments. "would you mind sitting out in the waiting room for a few minutes? I'd like to speak to your father."

Her eyes widen and she stands up while I stay seated. Danielle stomps out of my office and I stare down at my notepad to see all of the cons that I have written down about her over all attitude.

The door opening breaks me from my thoughts and Mr. Reeves walks in. "Take a seat, sir."

He sits down and gives me a crooked grin. I shiver at how uncomfortable this man makes me. At times, his wife tells me that whenever they want to quit on me, he always disagrees and tells them that 'Cecilia is too good of a woman to leave'. I'm still trying to figure out how he knows my name. Rarely do I ever tell patients or their parents my name unless they ask me. Not once did the Reeves family ask me for my name.

"Mr. Reeves-"

"Call me David," he interrupts me. Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

"I'd rather be professional with my patients' parents," I inform him. "back to what I was trying to say...Daniella is very difficult to work with and many times she's offered to walk out of the office. I know part of it is my own fault but when she does, I get this sense that I'm not meant for this job. So if either you or your wife could talk to her, that'd be great."

"Anything to keep you helping Daniella," he flashes me a flirtatious smile. I throw up in my mouth and fake a smile and motion for him to leave the office. Oh, the urge to not help her is horrendous. How his wife doesn't know about this, I don't know.

I stay seated in my chair for a few minutes longer and decide on getting myself going to get home.

While exiting the building, I feel my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Once I get out into the cold city air, I pull my phone out and look to see a text from an unfamiliar number.

The message reads out, 'I need help...you're the only one that can do it'. Who is this? And what can I do? Most of all, why do they need help?

Deciding on ignoring the text for a while, I manage to get my way through the crowds. Gosh, I really need a car.

In the winter is when the city is the most lively. Christmas lights are hung around the trees and on the tops of buildings. People singing the Hallelujah Chorus in the middle of a small park. The ice rink full of happiness and adults with children skating around, not having any cares about if they mess up and fall on their butt.

This is a perfect time with its own imperfections hidden deep inside. The entire city smiles and makes all of the others jealous.

But that's the thing. In our own world, some of us have to convince ourselves that we are happy. A few people don't know what it's like to wake up with a grin on their face.

Opening the door to my apartment, my phone starts ringing and I jump from surprise. I pull my phone out of my pocket and see that the number dialing me isn't anybody that I know.

I decide on answering it anyway and boy am I glad that it's nobody creepy. "Hello?"

"Hi, Doctor Anderson," the female on the other line says to me. "I understand my friend texted you, right?"

"Possibly," I reply. "who are you talking about?"

"Jamie," she tells me and I nearly drop my phone. Why did he say I'm the only one that can help him? "I'm his friend's cousin, Katie. Short for Katherine"

"Ah, well, thank you for clearing that up, Katie," I mentally punch myself in the face. How stupid can I possibly be?

"You're welcome," Katie says. "oh, and please don't give up on Jamie...even more, don't let him get attached to you."

"What do you mean by 'don't let him get attached'?"

"When he gets attached to someone, he'll do anything for the sex," she explains to me and I sigh into the phone.

"I'm not surprised," I tell her, yawning from my overly exhausting day. "thanks for the warning though."

"Whatever'll make your job easier, I'm willing to help out," Katie reassures me. I smile, knowing I now have someone who can help manage my stress levels. "I'll talk to you later, Dr. Anderson."

"Alright, bye Katie."

I hang up my phone and grab a sticky note, writing down what Katie just told me. Maybe he won't be as difficult after all.

My instincts tell that I should probably ask Jamie what he's talking about. I flip through my phone to find my messages and see the same text he had sent me. While typing the message 'What do you mean by me being the only one that can help you?'.

My fingers press the bridge of my nose and I think about what he can possibly have in mind. I stand up from my couch and walk myself into my kitchen. Foraging through the cabinets, I find the hot chocolate that I have and grin. Lord, I haven't had this in ages. I pour some milk into a small coffee cup and set it down in the microwave. I jump at the sound of my phone buzzing on the table and I see a reply from Jamie. My heart nearly crashes out of my chest as I read it. 'What's your address?'. Oh crap.

My breathing becomes shallow as I pace around my kitchen, trying to decide on if I should tell him my address or not. I'm his freaking Therapist and I can't just let him stop by for his definition of help whenever he wants. I pull my hair back into a ponytail and gasp, without even realizing that in the time I spent procrastinating, I sent him my address. Out of any curse word there is, none of them could fit how angry I am at myself right now. Gosh, I'm going to need my own Therapist after whatever events that are ahead of me happen.

There's a knock on my door and I try my best to ignore it and take my milk out of the microwave. Groaning, I hear more and more knocks and I can feel the person's impatience.

"Cecilia, please answer the door," I overhear Jamie's familiar voice yell through the door. Cecilia. I whine and quickly walk over and open the door to see his big, pleading, brown eyes. For a couple moments, he and I just stand there, staring at each other. I motion for him to come in since the cold air is creeping in from the outside and he takes a step into my apartment. My mind clouds up as I think about what could happen at any moment. I have a feeling that I know exactly what'll happen and my stomach does flips in fear that I might possibly go through with it.

I begin walking back into my kitchen to put the cocoa powder into the warm milk and Jamie follows me in there. I let out a deep sigh and he takes a seat at the table.

"Thank you for letting me come here on such short notice," he mutters, clearly nervous. He stares down at his rather large hands and I can't help but want him to look up. I want to know what he's hiding, why he really came here. Which I honestly already know why but I want him to tell me himself.

"It's my pleasure," I say and my eyes widen. He's a sex addict, Cecilia, how many times are you going to give him more ideas? "Jamie, do you mind if I asked you something?"

"Go ahead, I'm open to answer."

"How come you're addicted to sex, yet you get in relationships?" I question him. "I mean, I always interpreted it as an addict sleeping around with anyone they could find."

"I guess it's just the way my heart works," he replies. "I can't bring myself to wake up with a different person every single morning." I nod, taking a sip of my hot chocolate and look down, away from my face.

"Why did you want to come here?"

"Because they're so bad...the cravings," Jamie puts his face in his hands. "not even my hand can help me this time."

I give him a look of sympathy, wanting to help him, but knowing I can't. The feeling in my stomach tells me that I'm making the wrong decision and the racing beat of my heart tries to convince me that I need to help him. My gosh, my body tells me that I need this. That I haven't felt like how it feels to be touched in years.

"How do you expect me to help you?" I ask, wanting to hear all of his urges. I can't afford to miss a single word of what he needs.

"I need you, all of you," Jamie admits. Shoot, he's attached. "I don't think I'll be able to hold it in any longer. It's too strong to handle and it's so painful how much I crave this. I can't help it any longer. I sat in the office today thinking about how much I want you. Ever since I laid eyes on you I've wanted you and the feeling won't leave me be." His solemn eyes get right through me and he knows it too. He knows how much I want this, almost as bad as he does. I try to look away from him, to get my hormones to calm down but it doesn't work. Everything that I attempt doesn't allow me to calm myself and I stand up from the table and slowly walk over to Jamie. He gazes up at me, clearly shocked at the fact that I'm letting this happen.

As his Therapist, I have to test him. Find out how long he can go before he breaks. My chest rises up and lowers as I get more and more nervous. Mostly about if he'll be rough or gentle. My instincts tell me that I'm ready and I kneel down. "Jamie, come with me." I mutter in his ear and before I know it, he's up and following me.

I guide him into my bedroom and my silk sheets scream sex. My heart thuds in my chest and Jamie notices it. He presses his body up against my back and I silently whine.

"There's nothing to worry about, Cecilia," Jamie coos, pressing chaste kisses down my jawline as if he's had no experience at all. Part of me wonders if this is all a lie and he just came to get Therapy because he needed someone who would be willing to help him.

I guess it's time to find that out.

I pull my body away from his and he groans, sounding extremely desperate. "I want to find something out."

Jamie gulps. "What do you want to know?"

"How long can you last?" I whisper.

"What do you mean..."

"How long can you go before you need to have sex?"

I look at his face and I see a mix between lust, affection and fear. I remove my heals and I can tell he's already trying to control it. He doesn't want to control it but he knows that right now, I need to test him. My hands slip up my legs and to the top of my pencil skirt. I unzip the back of it and Jamie takes a sharp breath in. While letting the thin fabric slide down my legs and to the floor, he contemplates on if he should do anything or not. I give him a look telling him he needs to try harder and he obeys, pouting his lips.

Gosh, the fact that I'm stripping for my patient makes me feel so wrong and I can't help but think about how it also feels right.

Jamie curses under his breath once I lift my shirt above my head and toss it to the other side of the room. I see the tears in his eyes from how difficult it is for him to control himself and I can't help but feel sympathy for him. "Well, you've gotten this far already."

"I don't think I'll make it any longer," he rubs his face, panicking slightly.

"Then go right ahead," I sigh. Jamie furrows his eyebrows in confusion. "you need the sex? Come get it, Jamie. I'm not going to torture you any longer." His eyes widen and he stays put. The longer we stare at each other, the more insecure I feel about being practically naked in front of him. "I won't be mad at you, I won't think of you any different. You and I both know how much you need this ad just this once, I'm letting you have it. You're still going to be the good man that came in with a sex addiction. And I know it's not going to be fixed in the blink of an eye so I'm giving you this chance to calm yourself down and take me right now. And I hate to admit it but I want you."

By now, Jamie's jaw is dropped. He tries to say something but he can't find the words to speak so all he does is take his shirt off of his body. He sets it on the ground beside him and he takes a deep breath in and he steps over to me, exhaling, his warm breath giving me goosebumps. His cool fingertips run up and down my ribs and he looks at me, sorrow drastically filling his eyes.

I bring my hand up to his cheek and rub circles below his eye. "Don't be worried, Jamie."

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers, pressing his forehead against mine. "you're just so small and fragile and I'm large and aggressive. But I want-scratch that-need you so bad."

"You don't need to worry about me, I'll be okay," I promise. "not much can hurt me anymore."

Once I tell him that, his lips crash onto mine and I jump from excitement and immense amounts of fear. Jamie's palms cup my cheeks as I get on my tip toes so I can reach his height. His hands fall smoothly down my arms and his lips press sloppy kisses down my cheek and to my neck. "You don't need to think about taking control because tonight it's all about pleasuring you." He grumbles against the skin above my collarbones and I whine.

"O-Okay," I whimper.

"Your body is just so tense, I can tell the way you were touched the last time wasn't how you should be," he whispers, hooking his right index finger inside the waistband of my underwear on my left hip.

I expect him to pull them down but he doesn't. I bring my hands up to his face and his eyes are dark while his finger still hooks around my underwear. I get on my tip toes and kiss his lips, rubbing patterns on his cheekbones.

My mind races, trying to think of any reason as to why he isn't doing anything. "Why'd you stop?"

"Y-you just make me so nervous for some reason," he mutters and I trail my fingertips down his torso and to his belt.

"How so?" I question him, fiddling with the belt and managing to get it undone.

"I don't want my sessions to be awkward," Jamie replies. "I don't want you to give up on me."

"I don't give up on my patients, they give up on me," I mutter. "and if there's anything I've learned from sex, it's only awkward afterward if you make it like that."

Jamie bites his lip from lust and nerve and I unbutton his jeans, bringing them down his legs. He lifts his feet out of them and he kicks them to the side. He takes a deep breath before lifting up on my bed and setting me down, making sure he doesn't do anything that can hurt me. For a few moments he gazes down at me and I raise my eyebrows at him. "You're so breathtaking."

My cheeks burn a deep shade of red and Jamie's soft lips attach to mine and my fingers go to my back to unclasp my bra. I unhook it way faster than I expected and I gasp when he quickly gets it off of me. My god, this is so wrong.

His hands then move to the waistband of his boxers and he slowly begins to pull those off of him but he then stops. I sigh as he lays himself down next to me, putting his arm around my head so I lay my head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, turning my body to face his.

"It feels like having sex with you would be too much for me," Jamie replies. I look down, feeling bad. "like you'd be something I've never felt before and I'm terrified because I think you'd give me a more intense high and it scares the crap out of me."

I rest my right hand on his bare chest and I feel how fast his heart is beating. Lord, he really is nervous about this. "How come a better high is scary to you?"

"I've become so used to the usual feeling I get from everyone else and just by touching you, it electrifies me," he mumbles, his lips brushing against my hair. "I know someday I'll be brave enough to be able to handle it but right now it's so overwhelming...I'm so sorry."

"No, Jamie, it's okay," I move his hair away from his face. "the best thing you can do right now is get some sleep. Rest your head, I promise you that you'll wake up feeling better."

"I should probably get my stuff then."

"For your own benefit, you just need to close your eyes and stay here for the night," I tell him. "I can't afford for you to panic and pick up any random girl on the street." You have got to be kidding me, Cecilia.

"I'm not like that, though," he whispers while rubbing his thumb on my jaw.

"I know," I mutter. "I just think you need a good nights sleep." When I say this, I glance down and notice how my bare chest rests against his ribs. I immediately stand up and grab a long t-shirt from my drawer. I lift it over my head and step back to my bed. Glancing at Jamie, I lift the covers and slip under them. He does the same and I turn on my side so my back is facing him.

The next thing I know, Jamie is pulling me against him and his warmth radiates onto me. His hot breath blows on the back of my neck and I frown knowing that stopping the sex was also wrong.

-

The sunlight shining through the windows of my room wake me up and I try to move my body but I end up elbowing somebody in the chest. My skeleton practically jumps right out of my skin when I realize that I've woken up next to Jamie. My heart starts racing as I try to think of a reason as to why the hell he'd be here.

Wait. The only think I can think is he and I had sex. But we're wearing clothes and I'm not the type of person to go to sleep with clothes on after sex. Was it dry sex? I can't even remember the events of last night.

I pray to God that nothing happened because if anything did, then his addiction could then get worse and it'd be harder to fix it.

The tightening of Jamie's grip on me distracts me from my thoughts and I hear him whisper 'Don't leave me. Don't give up, C.' I turn over to face him and his face is distorted with terror. My only actions are wrapping my arms around him and kissing his forehead in hopes that he'll be out of the bad dream soon enough. Almost immediately, his heart rate slows down and I lightly lift his arm from my shoulder. I quietly step out of my room and walk to my bathroom.

Once I get in there, I sigh, looking at my reflection and I suddenly remember every single detail from last night. Nausea builds up in me from fear and I begin breathing heavily. I got close to having sex with one of my clients. I could get fired if it went all the way.

I put my face in my hands and pace around my apartment, hoping that I don't wake Jamie. A few times, I pass by my manila folders holding all of my clients' stories and what they initially came to me with.

For a couple minutes, I stand in the same place, staring at the folders, debating on if I should read through them or not. Usually, their stories calm me down and remind me how I'm not a terrible Therapist like I think I am right now. And they also remind me of my success.

Deciding on opening the first folder, I take a seat on my couch. The name on top of the manila folder reads out 'Tina Blues' and I find the very first paper ever written on about her. Her main conflict was with self harming herself. You see, Tina never really had a family to depend on when something is wrong. Her parents practically ruined her and now it all worries me sick now that Jackson isn't with her right now. It terrifies me that she might possibly end up going bad again. Knowing from my own experience, love causes you happiness but being in love causes the worst pain when they're not there to care for you anymore and I hope she remembers all of the coping strategies I've told her about.

The next folder I open reads out Brian Glade. He quit on me because he didn't want to get helped. I'd always hear word from him that all he wanted in life was to be happy and a good person. The terrible part about it is the fact that quite a few of my patients have lied about wanting to get cured. The sad truth is how Brian wanted to be sick forever so people would care about him and babysit him all of the time.

I sigh and open up the next folder. 'Skye Toews' is what it says and I begin tearing up. Skye didn't come here with the most extreme problem ever. The way her life has turned around breaks my heart. Her manager called me up one day telling me how Skye needed help with her aggression. Whenever the paparazzi bothered her, she'd get overly angry and attack them. I guess you could say the whole conflict really did turn around. Now it's Brent getting angry and attacking her. She doesn't deserve this. But the thing is, Skye hasn't really told me what could possibly cause Brent to do this. Everybody I've known of or counseled has had a reason to engage in anything they've done. It's just not realistic if they don't have a motive or trigger.

I get interrupted while deep in thought from footsteps coming near me. Trying my best to ignore them, I read more through my files.

I pick up Elizabeth Tremblay's folder and the very first paper has 'addiction' written down in bold letters. Elizabeth got involved with the wrong people when she was a teenager. She dated the most popular stoner at her school and she had made a promise to her mother to not become who her boyfriend was. One day, she was curious and went to him explaining how she wanted to try some marijuana. Long story short, she got addicted...bad. Luckily, she didn't lose as much knowledge as everyone thought she would and I-along with a mental institution-helped her overcome her drug addiction and today she's working as the assistant of the city's top interviewer.

I feel a warm breath on my neck and I shift in my chair awkwardly. Yeah, I know you shouldn't feel awkward after sex but the fact that we didn't even go through with it makes it feel so weird.

"Good morning, Cecilia," Jamie mutters, his voice deep and raspy; almost hoarse from tiredness.

"Good morning," I yawn, glancing up at him. His lips curve a little on the ends but he mostly looks exasperated and stressed out.

"I'm really sorry about last night," he apologizes, walks around my couch and takes a seat, facing me.

"It's okay, I don't want you to go out of your comfort zone," I give him a reassuring smile. "and if I sounded demanding to you, I didn't mean to. What I told you was just me speaking the truth and making you feel less insecure."

"How did I feel insecure?"

"I could tell, Jamie," I reply. "you were nervous, you felt bad about how you're more aggressive of a person. You're not confident about being in bed."

"I usually am," he tells me. "there's just something about you that makes me question my actions. It feels weird too. Like last night, I almost felt inexperienced when I'm not."

I sigh and close the folder I'm holding. I stand up and walk over to the couch he's seated on and take a seat next to him. "Jamie, I know you're not inexperienced, trust me, I could tell."

He stays silent, giving me a way to continue.

"What about me makes you so scared?"

"You're just so different from any of my previous girlfriends that I've had sex with," he starts to say. "I guess the fact where you told me you wanted it just terrified me...like I almost thought you were lying to me."

"If I didn't really want it, I would've told you to go home instead of spending the night," I tell him just above a whisper. Jamie's cheeks turn a deep shade of red while staring at my face, probably trying to figure out if I'm telling the truth-which I really am. I mean every single word of it.


	3. Day Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What can a day with Katie have in store for Cecilia?
> 
> Are the four girls trustworthy?
> 
> What does Jamie want to tell Cecilia?

Jamie left my apartment a few hours ago, leaving me to plan my day. I really want to know more about him but I feel like I'm starting to sound a bit obsessive. The thing is, when I get a client who has such a serious and interesting case like he does, I can't stop thinking about it. For a few moments, I try to think of anyone that could help me out with this and finally I manage to remember Katie.

I mentally thank the lord that she told me yesterday that she's willing to do anything to make my job easier. Grabbing my phone, I shoot her a text, asking if she's free today. I grab some potato chips from the pantry and walk myself over to the couch and turn my tv on. Lucky for me, The Outsiders is currently on. This movie never fails to put a smile on my face. It also never fails to make me sob my eyes out. I don't think there's anything that I love more than this movie other than my family. In some ways, it's kind of like a security blanket. It gives me that sense of safety and I can watch it whenever I'm sad and it'll make me the happiest girl in the world.

Interrupting me from my thoughts, my phone buzzes. I notice a reply from Katie telling me that she doesn't have anything planned today and I smile. I then ask her if she'd be cool with stopping by Biggby's or Panera. This time, she answers right away. Katie says that either one would be great and I start getting myself ready.

I jog over to the shower and open the door, turning the fan on and then the shower. I then strip out of the pajamas that I had on and stare at my nude body in the slightly fogged mirror. God, do I feel completely let down. I look so out of shape. Jamie was right, I definitely feel like I haven't been touched the right way in ages. I also look like I haven't either. The way that I see myself is terrible because I'm definitely not blinding myself from everything else. It's more of the fact that I don't engage in sexual activity nearly as much as he does. In fact, I haven't had sex in five years, so there's that.

Once the shower is at the right temperature for my liking, I step in and I feel the water wash away my guilt. This is how it always feels to shower; just like someone is pouring holy water on me.

While massaging shampoo into my hair, I somehow manage to get it into my closed eyes. I swear out loud a few times and grab the shower curtain, covering my eyes with it. "My lord, am I stupid."

When I finally get the courage to open my eyes, I blink them a few times, attempting to cry the soapy liquid out. This only works a little and I roll my eyes, earning more stinging. The only other thing that I can think of to do is douse my eyes with the shower water.

As I stand under the shower water, I continuously think about how he's seen me practically naked. I try to convince myself that last night was a total mistake and that it was in the heat of the moment. But I know it wasn't. It was not the heat of the moment. We both wanted it and part of me thinks that Jamie was going on autopilot and then freaked out once he realized what he was doing.

But the only bad part about that is he doesn't need to be afraid. He should know that I trust him. I believe in him. Everything that happened last night, from him texting me to him falling asleep, holding me tight. It was as if he never wanted to let me go. But at the same time, I know he's going to have to let go of me mentally. He cannot fall for me.

The only problem is, he already has.

Jamie

I stand in the shower, staring up at the ceiling, just thinking about how much of a monster I am. How frightening I've become to people around me. I can tell how scared Cecilia is of me. I know she doesn't want to go through with me although she tells me that she does. She tells me that my addiction to sex is something I can control but it's harder than one may think. When it's this bad, no matter how hard you try, it's always going to be your last resort when you've tried everything else.

The addiction feels like abuse. Each time it hits you harder than the last. And I hate it. I hate that it hurts me. I hate that it hurts my friends and the girls I fall for. I hate that it has to hurt Cecilia. The pain that I saw painted all over her face broke me. I care for her-no, screw that-I've grown an attraction to her; both sexually and emotionally. Neither one of those feelings can be denied any longer. I don't think she fully understands what it's like to be mentally attracted to someone while wanting something so physical with them at the same time.

"Jamie, you shower like a woman, you know that?" I hear Katie say through the door, amused.

"You shower longer, so," I groan, pushing my wet hair out of my eyes. There are a few moments of silence until I decide on speaking. "what do you need, anyway?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm going out in the city with Doctor Anderson," she informs me.

"Did you really have to tell me that while I'm in the shower?"

"Well, you've been in there for almost an hour, and I just wanted to tell you just in case you need anything," she replies.

I turn the shower off, grab a towel and wrap it around my waist. Stepping out of the tub, I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Not from being vain but from how I see myself. It's absolute crap.

"Stop staring at yourself, you're going to become suicidal like the last time and you're worth it," Katie tells me. "you can't keep thinking that you've messed your life up for good because I believe in you. Tyler believes in you. She believes in you." When Katie says this, she nods her head to the right and I look over to see her standing by the door, unzipping her jacket. My heart races as my towel almost falls off my waist.

"Bro, put some clothes on," Tyler pats my back. "we are going out to lunch. I gotta talk to you about some stuff, aright?"

"Okay," I nod and take one last glance at Cecilia before walking into my room and putting clothes on. I grab my black Calvin Klein briefs and pull them up my legs. When I get them fully up, flashbacks of last night come back and I take a seat on my bed. Light kisses pressed to her neck and jaw. How tense her body was when I ran my fingers up and down her ribs. How scared of me she was.

"Do you fear him?" I overhear Tyler ask Cecilia.

"I-I can't exactly explain how I feel when he's around me and panicking," she answers him. "I don't fear him I'm just scared for him. I think he's convinced himself that I'm just like the others; he's convinced that I'll give up on him."

"You promise you won't give up, right?" Katie asks her this time.

"There's too much that I don't know about him, so how would I be able to bring myself to do it?" I let out a sigh of relief and I find a pair of black jeans. It's the beat my heart skips when I'm with you. "I'm pretty nervous that he'll give up on me." Cecilia then says this in a shy tone.

"Hey Cecilia," I say smoothly as I open my door, pulling my shirt down my torso. She stares down at her feet and her eyes trail up my body to my face. She opens her mouth as if she's about to say something but nothing comes out.

I thank the lord that I'm not craving sex right now or Tyler and Katie would be tying me down so I don't pounce on Cecilia.

"How about we get going?" Katie suggests to Cecilia and I mentally groan.

And of course, this is when the urges have to come back. I curse under my breath and the three of them look back at me. I shake my head, giving Cecilia a look of terror.

"Dammit," Tyler mutters. "Jamie, just take deep breaths."

I continue staring at Cecilia and I can tell she knows exactly what I'm thinking. This is where it all goes wrong though. I can feel what she's feeling. I know how terrified she is right now. But I also know how she'll feel if I deny it all over again. Once I get my briefs and start to pull them off of me, I'll always stop before she can see anything. I can't tell if it's because I'm embarrassed to be naked in front of her or if the way she makes me feel scares me.

"What do I do?" I whimper, sounding like a scared five-year-old. I look at Cecilia for answers but I know she can't do anything in front of Tyler and Katie. She promised to keep everything that happens between us private.

Cecilia

My heartbeat quickens as I try to think of something to do.

"I-Uh, would you two mind leaving he and I alone for a few moments?" I question Katie and Tyler. They both nod and walk to a different part of the place. I glance up at Jamie and he's already staring down at me. I take a small step toward him and he stays where he's standing, his body tensing up ever so slightly.

I take a look behind me to make sure the others don't see a thing. Before I know it, I'm being pulled against him and I gasp quietly.

"I need you to scare me out of it like last night," he whispers into my ear, looking around frantically.

"J-Jamie," I mutter, more nervously than I expected. "but they're here."

"I just need your touch to frighten me enough so the urges can go away and I'll be able to get myself through the day."

I nod at this and stare deeply into his eyes. He licks his lips, giving me a sign that he wants me to kiss him. I obey him and get on my tip toes, my lips pressing against his. I made a promise to be there for him and I always will be; I have no shame in doing so. I actually find little bits and pieces of enjoyment here and there so far.

For a couple minutes, we stand there, Jamie holding me close, full-fledged making out. His hands roaming my bare back below the long sleeved t-shirt I have on. My fingers threatening to rip his top off. Our hormones escalating more than I intended.

This was supposed to last a few short minutes then Jamie loses his cravings for a certain amount of time. I can't hold my day out in the city with Katie up any longer.

Regretting it completely, I pull away from Jamie and he gives me a look of confusion. "Why'd you stop?" This time it's him asking instead of me.

"Because we both have other things to do today," I reply, my forehead pressed against his. "can't keep them waiting any longer than we already have, Jamie."

He thinks for a few moments, palms cupping my hips then he kisses my forehead. I close my eyes for a couple seconds. He loosens his hold on me and then steps away from me, walking into his bathroom. I sigh, knowing how he's feeling. I want to tell him what I'm doing but that's not going to fix him. I know that the way I'm helping him isn't exactly the most ideal way to do it but it's the only way that'll work. He's gone to everyone else. They've tried everything except for this.

At first, I didn't think this would work. I'm not exactly scaring him away like the others. You could call it more of me taking a step into his world. Getting a taste of actions. Sort of going out of my comfort zone to help him overcome his addiction.

I'm well aware of the fact that if my boss finds out about my secret 'relationship' with Jamie that I'll be fired. But it's all part of the contract I signed. I made a promise to the company that I wouldn't be afraid to travel to new heights in order to help a client. That's precisely what I'm doing with Jamie. I signed that contract to fix him, not fail on him.

I wish the law was different. I wish it was legal to cure him the way I am now. I'd rather not have to do my job while keeping an entire manila folder hidden from my boss.

I have to keep the folder, which has 'Benn, Ja' written down on the front, in a completely different area. I'm forced to bring it home every single day.

"Who knows about this?" Jamie breaks the silence and distracts me from my thoughts.

"Nobody, just us," and there you go again, Cecilia. "if I say anything like that, just imagine me as an eighty-year-old woman with random bruises all over my body." Jamie's nose scrunched up and I can't help but notice how cute it looks.

"That's...um...very pleasant," he giggles. The man giggles. I have a feeling that I could be around him more often. He's not the type to want sex with someone. He's the type to be embarrassed to be ass-naked in front of someone; just like me in a way.

"Sounds pretty sexy in my opinion," I joke, laughing harder than I should. Was that flirting?

"Christ, Cecilia."

I give Jamie a frowning face and he pulls his hair back, using more hair gel than he should. "Am I supposed to call you Gelly Benn from now on?"

"Call me whatever you want," he answers me. "just not Chubbs." I raise my eyebrows. "I used to be fat as hell."

Sex burns off calories.

"Oh my god..." I trail off.

"What?"

"Jamie, I am so sorry, this is kind of a personal question-"

"You're my therapist, the personal questions are normal," Jamie interrupts me. "sorry...continue."

"When did you start losing the weight?"

"Around when I was sixteen, why?" he answers me.

"Cecilia, are we still going?" Katie yells from somewhere else in the place.

"I'll explain later, don't worry," I reassure him before rushing to find Katie.

-

"I expect you wanted to hang out to know more about Jamie?" Katie asks me, smirking.

"Guilty," I admit, blushing.

"You like him, don't you?"

I shrug. "If I say yes, will you tell me about what his sex life is like?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, I'll still give you some information about him." I let out a deep sigh of relief.

"Thank you," I smile, taking a bite out of my banana nut bread.

"No need to thank me," Katie tells me. "I promised you that I'll help out with whatever you need. I can trust you to use this information in any way that will guide Jamie in the right direction."

"I know, I just don't want to annoy you," I say.

"Trust me, Jamie's case fascinates me," she informs. "I don't know what about it does but I think it's the fact that he has such a big heart yet he shows his love through sex."

"It's understandable."

"What do you mean?"

"Although the kids in his class bullied him, it is called making love," I point out.

"I guess I never really thought of it that way," she agrees with me. The worker at Biggby's calls out my name and I excuse myself from the table. While walking over to get my drink, I pass by a few girls all talking about a person named Jamie. Their complaints share the same exact topic too; sex.

I grab my drink off of the counter and thank the worker before stepping over to the table of girls. They all look up at me with confused faces and I give them a warm smile. "Hi girls, I know this may seem weird, but I overheard what you're talking about and I just wanted to know if I could join in...is that okay with you?"

"It's totally fine actually, I'm Faith," one of the girls tells me with a welcoming grin.

"It's nice to meet you, I'm Cecilia," I introduce myself. The other three girls introduce themselves as Lucille, Iris, and Stephanie. "so, if you don't mind me asking, what're you four talking about?"

"We all dated the same guy," Iris answers me, bringing a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. I glance over at Katie and motion her to come over to the table.

"What's his name?"

"Jamie Benn," she replies and Katie's eyes widen when she hears.

"Have you dated him too?" Iris asks Katie.

"No, but Cecilia and I were just talking about him," Katie tells them. I shift in my seat uneasily. My phone buzzes in my pocket and I pull it out to see a text from the one and only, Jamie. The notification reads: Can my next appointment be a little earlier? "I'm his best friend's cousin."

"Hey, I'll be right back, I have to go use the restroom," I lie so I can go call Jamie. I slip my phone back into my pocket and take a deep breath, getting worried as to why he'd want to make an earlier appointment.

Once I reach the bathroom, I look in the mirror and splash a little water on my face, noticing how red my cheeks have gotten. Just from talking about Jamie too.

I find his contact on my phone and my thumb hovers over the call button. After debating for a few moments, I finally press call. It only takes two rings for him to answer. "Hey, Cecilia."

"Why do you want to reschedule?" I get straight to the point.

"I found something out, something that probably triggered my addiction," he answers me, rather quietly. My heartbeat raises.

"When would you like to have your appointment?"

"Tomorrow," he says. It almost sounds as if he's trying to be secretive about this all.

"Okay, I'll make myself a reminder," I say. "is there any specific time that you want?"

"Whenever you're free, I'm free," he breathes into his phone. "I'll see you then." After that, he hangs up and I put my phone back into my pocket and I wash my hands just for the sake of it.

I step out of the restroom and rush back to the table. Katie gives me a knowing look and the girls continue talking about Jamie. "So, what'd I miss?"

"We were just talking about we feel like he was just using us for sex," Stephanie tells me and I nod, hiding my eye roll. I glance at Katie and she sighs from exasperation.

"How so?" I ask them

"It felt like the only thing he ever wanted was to have sex with us."

By now, I was mentally banging my head against the wall.

"Sounds like someone I wouldn't waste my time with," I lie. They've got this all wrong, I know they do. The way that Jamie has touched me tells me that his motives aren't bad. He's more lost and his hormones are stuck in his teen years.

"If he ever wants you, don't let him have anything, you'll end up being hurt in the end," Iris warns me.

"What do you mean by hurt?" Katie asks her.

"He moves on so quickly," she says. "it's as if he never felt anything for you at all."

"It's normal for everybody to have a 'backup crush', isn't that essentially what he's doing?" I question, staring down at my lap.

"I mean, I don't know, he seemed to go a while without being with anyone," Faith shrugs. "I'm not sure if he's dating anyone right now."

"He's not," Katie answers them, sarcasm thick in her voice and I don't think those girls even noticed it. "hey, listen, Cecilia and I have to get going. It was nice meeting you four." Katie and I stand up from the table and I grab my drink and check to make sure my phone is still in my pocket. I pull my coat back on and zip it up. While following Katie out of the coffee shop, I let out a groan of bundled up anger.

"Who in hell do they think they are?"

"Jamie's ex-girlfriends," Katie replies, slowing down so I can catch up to her. "they're manipulative and have no idea what they're talking about. The four of them lie about him all the damn time and I still follow them all on social media and lord, the things they say about Jamie...it's brutal. I've been convinced that they've all gone insane. I know it may sound like it, but Jamie never uses people. When you truly are 'in love' with someone, using them would be pointless because he cared about them. Especially Iris. He was hurt bad for a few long days but I'm just glad that the main thing he understands is that you can't bring yourself down because somebody couldn't see his true colors. So, he moved on and he hasn't had sex for a good couple weeks."

"Do you think she hurt him out of sex?" I ask her. That was stupid to ask.

"No, I think you scare him out of sex."

"How do you know that?"

"I already knew why he went to your apartment last night," Katie informs me. "Jamie came home this morning and just about ripped his hair out. He was a mess, cried telling me how he fears sex with you. Except he wants it so bad." We all want the things that we fear the most.

"Did he tell you what he's so afraid of?"

"He said this exactly, 'she tells me that she's had sex before but it feels as if she's still a virgin and it confuses me because I can tell that she'd be better than any other girl I've been with'," she tells me. "Jamie doesn't want to hurt you but he knows you're a brave woman. Except he's afraid of how good you'd be."

"He's seriously afraid of how I am during sex?" I question in disbelief.

"He's so used to the dullness of the past girls that he's terrified of anything new," Katie tells me.

"Well, he isn't getting anything new anytime soon."

"Why not?" she raises an eyebrow. "not that I want you two to...you know..."

"It's all part of how I'm getting him through this," I shrug. "if I'm going to be scaring him away from having sex with me, then I'll have to tweak my job guidelines to cure him."

"Cecilia, you shouldn't have to break the law in order to fix Jamie," Katie stops us right in front of a Forever Twenty-One.

"I'd rather get fired with him fixed instead of keeping my job and failing on him."

Katie pats my back in a friendly and comforting matter and I take a deep breath. The two of us step into the store and I speak again.

"I just hope I'm not listening to my heart for no reason," I admit, grabbing a crew neck sweatshirt from a rack.

"Come here," Katie opens up her arms and pulls me in for a hug. I rest my head on her shoulder and the next thing she says surprises me. "I know Jamie very well and it's always kind of obvious when he's interested in someone. And he also tends to fall easily and he'll do anything and everything to win their heart. Tyler has noticed it just about as much as I have. I know it's too early for this but I guess you could say he's fallen in love with you...and he fell harder than he's ever fallen."

"What do you mean?"

"He usually wants to know something about the girl before he lets himself fall for her," Katie tells me, picking up a graphic t-shirt. "this time, he just allowed himself to fall."

I sigh, thinking about my own feelings. I'm not even quite sure how I feel about him. This isn't something that normally happens to me either. I'm not the type of person to look at someone and know right there what my feelings for them are.

The difference between Jamie and every other guy I've ever been interested in is crazy. It's as if Jamie's a drug that lures me in, wanting more and more. Just like his addiction to sex; the drive pulls him in, tricking him into getting more.

All of the other guys haven't been the same as him. They've all taken a certain amount of time to get me to fall for them. They don't have the charm that Jamie has. They're just not the same.

Nothing was ever the same after them.


	4. Day Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Skye get closure?
> 
> How come Connor can't get a legitimate relationship?
> 
> Who is Antoine and why is he skating on thin ice?
> 
> What does Jamie have to tell Cecilia about his sexual addiction?

Skye

He stares at me through the glass as I pick up the phone. He does the same and I try so hard to fight the tears threatening to spill. I hear his heavy breathing coming from the other line. I stare down at the text Doctor Anderson sent me early in the morning and I open my mouth to speak.

"I-I'm sorry," Brent says before I can talk. "I'm sorry I f*cked everything up. I'm a monster. Over-powering, controlling, insane. I'm terrible. I should've never placed a finger on you. You'd still be happy and always smiling like how you were when I first laid eyes on you and I messed that all up and I can't even make it better again locked up and all."

"Thank you for apologizing," my heart breaks even more from the single tear falling down his cheek. "I just...sorry isn't going to fix it. There's nothing that can solve this. I wish there was, trust me I really do...but it's over and it's time we just moved on with our lives."

There, I did what I was supposed to do. And I'm not quite sure if it's going to make me feel better or worse.

I hang up the phone and look at Brent and his tear brimmed eyes. While I'm standing up, he presses two of his fingers to his lips and touches the glass with them. I put my fingers on the glass so they are even with his and quickly pull my hand back before I can get myself too broken.

Cecilia

Sitting in my black, leather chair again after a day off feels oddly comforting. I think back to yesterday, how those girls that had dated Jamie before I knew him just trashed him as if it's the only thing they know how to do. Which, just seeing the way they looked, it probably is the only thing they can do. It's almost as if they'd known each other before hand and used him for the sex that they wanted. Once they got enough, they left him for anyone else that they could get their hands on.

I feel my jaw lock up as anger bubbles up inside of me and I grab a pain medication from my purse. Looking at the time, I stand up, grab my bottle of water and swallow the Tylenol and close my bottle, walking out of my office to locate my first patient. He sits in one of the blue chairs in the waiting room, playing with his lighter.

I clear my throat. "Connor, please put that away, you could hurt someone."

He sighs and flips it closed and puts it in his pocket and stands up as I motion for him to step into my office.

Once he's in there, he takes a seat on the leather couch across from my chair. I locate the manila folder which has his name on the front: Connor McDavid.

"So, Connor, anything new?" I question him and I know there's something. The tension in the room speaks for him.

"Girls are wusses."

I take a deep breath and write down those words in quotation marks.

"How so?"

"I can't flirt with any other girls without my girlfriend finding out about it," Connor spits and slips his hand into his pocket, gripping his lighter.

"One, I'm going to tape your hands to that couch if you don't stop trying light this place on fire," I remember my old office that I had to move out of. His managed to light it all on fire because he was angry. Nobody really found out why he was so mad that day. All I know is he uses his lighter as a way to calm himself. Just like how The Outsiders is a 'security blanket' for me, his is his lighter. "and two, when did you think it was a good idea to flirt with other girls while you had someone else?"

"It's boring with just one girl," Connor replies. I mentally bang my head against the wall.

"Then she just wasn't the person for you," I tell him. "don't waste your time hurting others, you have an entire life that you haven't lived yet. But if that's what you're into, suit yourself then. You're just going to have a hopeless love life."

"What the hell?" he scoffs. "it's not going to be hopeless."

"If you're going to keep hurting girls, the word is going to get around and everyone will know," I cross my arms over my chest.

"Don't act like you've got nothing to hide," Connor snaps and slams his hand on the leather couch.

"I hide something every single damn day, but at least I don't break hearts each day."

"How don't you get bored then?" Connor questions me, his tone dark.

"Because I know what I'm doing and I know what I want," I half lie. I do know what I want except when I'm with Jamie, I have no idea what I'm doing. "I'm sorry, Connor. I should not be acting like this in front of my client."

"Whatever you say," Connor scoffs and stands up. "I have to go."

He exits my office without a look back and I exhale, closing my eyes and stand up. I glance at the time and walk out of my office, bringing my phone with me and I pass by Jamie. My insides do flips and I lean down and mutter into his ear telling him that he can take a seat in my office and that I'll be back. I give Katie a wave and she smiles at me.

"Did anything else happen yesterday?" I ask her.

"No, he was good for the rest of the day," she answers me and I let out a sigh of either relief or disappointment. It's almost as if I don't want him to get better. But I know I do. He has to. This isn't something that's optional. I'm given a task and I have to do it no matter how hard it is.

"Good," I say and I rush to the bathroom. I stare in the mirror like I usually do and splash some cool water on my face to lessen the redness.

I'm furious, to say the least. The number of clients I have that pay me for no reason is numerous and it's beginning to get on my nerves. I'd rather earn the money because I've done my job instead of for no dang reason.

After a couple moments of washing my hands and drying my face, I fix my eyebrows and unlock the door. I open it to see my next client, Antoine. I give him a warm smile and say good morning, walking back to my office. I take a deep breath as I pass by Katie again and I notice how the door to my office is closed.

Jamie kept it open before I went to calm myself down.

I knock on the door, my heart racing and I wait a few moments until Jamie opens the door. His breathing is heavy and damn he looks exhausted. He grabs a tissue with his right hand and rubs it over his left and that's when I realize what was going on. "s-sorry..."

"You're very lucky my boss didn't come in here to check on my work," I remark. My boss usually does that when I least expect it.

"I'm so sorry," Jamie looks up at the ceiling. "wrong place, wrong time. It shouldn't have happened. It won't happen again, I promise."

He glances at me with his big brown eyes, pleading for forgiveness. For a moment, I stay serious, then I just smile at him. I laugh lightly, looking down at the notes I have for him.

"What's so funny?"

I toss my hand sanitizer at him. "Nothing in particular."

"Then why are you laughing?" he questions me, his cheeks turning a bright shade of red.

"You don't have to apologize to me," I tell him, gazing into his eyes. "it's not the end of the world, nobody is hurt, right?"

He shakes his head, saying a quick 'no', and pours a small amount of my hand sanitizer on his hands and the bottle falls in between his legs. My breath catches in my throat and he quietly curses. Once he finishes rubbing the sanitizer on his hands, he grabs the small bottle and hands it to me. "thanks."

"You're welcome," I reply and he sits back down on the leather coach across from me. I take another brief glance down at my notes for him and inhale deeply. Once I exhale, I look over at Jamie who's already staring at me. I clear my throat to begin.

"So, Jamie, you called me yesterday telling me that you have another reason for why you're addicted to sex," I remind him. He nods. "would you like to tell me what it is?"

"Girls wanted to have sex with me, they wanted to use me and I'd never let them have it and then this girl, Noelle, came around and she was the first girl I had sex with," Jamie explained. "the pressure hurt too much and once I actually went through with it, I wanted more so she and I had sex a few more times but then she disappeared after the fourth or fifth time. I told you, they all leave."

I open my mouth to speak but Jamie starts talking again.

"Not even the ones that only wanted me for sex stayed," he sighs. "the last girl I dated, her name was Iris, she wanted the sex almost as much as I did but one night, she told me it was boring. I never do the same moves so I don't know how it could've gotten boring."

My eyes widen slightly as I remember what Iris and the three other girls had said. "has anybody ever given you crap about it for no reason?"

"Yeah, Iris and three other exes of mine teamed up," I wish he didn't know about that. "every single week there's something new that they have to say about me."

"They're not going to say anything anymore."

"How're you so sure?"

"I have my ways," I write down the four girls' names. I'm going to have to ask Katie about their social media. "what're their other names?"

"Stephanie, Lucille, and Faith," he answers me. I nod and glance up at the Van Gogh painting hanging above Jamie and remember what I wanted to talk to him about.

"Jamie, remember how you told me you didn't want to be called Chubbs?" I lift my feet up on the footrest in front of me. He nods and I take a deep breath. "I've come up with a conclusion."

"What's that?" he questions me.

"You started losing the weight when you were sixteen, right?"

"Yeah..." Jamie trails off.

"Sex burns calories," I say simply. When I say this, Jamie shifts in his seat and swears out loud.

"This time I can't even imagine you as an eighty-year-old woman with bruises," he whines. I chuckle to myself and notice Jamie biting his lip and staring into my eyes. Dammit.

"S-Sorry," I look down at my palms and my legs begin shaking from nerves. "I really need to stop saying that stuff."

"No, Cecilia," my heart flutters as Jamie says my name. Crap, you're falling. "I'm the sex addict here, not you."

"But I essentially keep accidentally leading you on," I tell him and he runs his fingers through his hair.

"It's not something that you can hold in sometimes, no matter how hard you try it'll spill out at the moments that you least expect it."

For a few moments, it starts to feel like he was trying to give me therapy.

"It's just like my sex addiction...except not as bad," Jamie continues. "like I never know when my urges will come and sometimes, we don't think before speaking."

It's not expected for me to be the one not thinking before speaking since I'm always busy in my chair debating on what the right thing to say is.

Jamie and I stare at each other for what seems like hours on end and I shift in my seat, starting to feel a bit uneasy. But not in a bad way. He gives me a look saying his hormones are at their high but his body language manages to mask it.

"How badly does it hurt?" I ask him.

Jamie blinks, surprised that I've managed notice. "I think you're just asking that to ask it."

"I want to hear the answer from you."

"It's giving me heartburn," he looks down at his hands. "I bet this is probably what a girl's period feels like." I get a painful feeling in the pit of my stomach remembering how bad my cramps get.

"You have no idea how bad periods are," I answer him while jotting his explanation down on my papers.

"You have no idea how badly this hurts though," he practically claws at his hair.

"I know I don't," I reply. "and sometimes I wish I did so I could understand what it's like to be addicted to something as powerful as sex. I wish I could feel your pain. If there's anyone in this room that should be feeling the agony, it's me."

"Trust me, Cecilia," Jamie breathes. "you wouldn't be able to handle it. Just like how I'm too scared because of your touch...I fear that I wouldn't be able to handle that." You don't know until you try.

"Explain it to me," I partially change the subject.

"What do you mean?"

"Start from the beginning, the first time you ever thought about becoming sexually active," I say just above a whisper as if someone was standing just on the other side of the door. Although the walls are sound proof, nothing feels safe and sound. "Wait."

"What?"

"Don't tell me right now," I mutter.

"Why not?" he gives me a look of confusion.

"I don't feel like what you say in here is as safe as it seems," I reply.

"I'm confused, I thought you said the walls were sound proof," Jamie furrows his eyebrows.

"I just don't feel safe here," I explain. "it's hard to explain...I mean, I have to bring all of your information back to my place because I'm scared of what my boss can find." I'm scared of what he can find out.

"Why? What's so scary about him seeing my case?"

"I'm scared of him finding out about us."

As I say that, Jamie's breathing hitches and I slowly stand up.

"This is illegal," he glances up at me.

I take a seat beside him.

"But it's so right," he breathes.

Jamie turns his head, gazing into my eyes and my heartbeat quickens. I use this time to take in everything about him. His perfect nose. Flawless eyebrows. Soft pink lips that admittedly feel so amazing on mine. His dark brown hair that isn't slicked back like it usually is. It's soft and clean and parts of it lay on his forehead while others fall against the buzz cut on the sides. Everybody could tell me his flaws and I wouldn't be able to listen to them. The simple things about Jamie are what I really notice. From inside to out, he's scraped clean of any bad qualities he could ever have. But he can also be so good at hiding it all. For all I know, the man seated next to me could be the man that murders me. And yet I still choose to believe that he's better than he puts himself out to be.

The longer we stare at each other, the closer my body feels to his. The heat radiating off of him tells me he wants everything. "Not now...not here." I gulp as his hand touches my knee. I put my palm on his hand and try to move it off of my knee but sometimes you can't always get what you want.

I refrain from moving his hand off of my knee and I feel his body shaking slightly. Bringing my hand up to cup his cheek, Jamie shivers and takes a few deep breaths.

"Why is it so hard to get out of it?" he groans.

"Because, right now, the urges are stronger than you're anticipating."

-

"What type of problems do you seem to be having?" I question my next patient. Thank god Katie managed to get Jamie out of my office before he could attack my body. It's not like it would be a terrible thing off the job.

"I can't stop hooking up with my friend's girl," Antoine mutters. "not that I have a problem with that but the girl's best friend I assume does."

"What's the girl's name?" I ask him.

"Amy," he answers me.

"Her boyfriend's?"

"Oh, they're not dating but his name is Tyler," Antoine tells me. I write this down and stop myself. Tyler. Where the hell do I know that name from?

"Wait...so how is Amy 'Tyler's girl' if they're not even dating?"

"It's not my story to tell," Antoine says. I nod and don't pry any further about her. "I honestly don't even know her story at all...I just know she's really good."

"Do you want her just for the sex?" I question. "or if you had a legitimate chance, would you try to make her your's?"

"That's a difficult question to answer."

"Just think about what you as yourself would want," I suggest.

"I mean, all I can think about is her nice ass and rack so I guess I just want her for the sex," Antoine tells me and I mutter a quick 'okay', checking the time, seeing as I have thirty-five minutes left until I can learn more about Jamie.

"Did you come here just so Amy's friend would stop bugging you about you hooking up with her?"

"I mean, her friend doesn't exactly mention the hooking up," he explains. I raise my eyebrows. "she doesn't even mention anything. But I have this odd feeling in my gut that says how she knows about what goes on under the covers. And how I feel about Amy. Which yes, I do have feelings for her but I know practically nothing about her."

"Well, does the sex stay between you and Amy?" I question, writing down a few notes.

Antoine nods and I can feel his fear.

I continue to speak. "One would assume that if there's enough trust to see each other naked, then you have enough faith in them to not spill the beans. So, I have a feeling that she would stay silent about it."

"Sometimes her friend gets a little protective when I'm around," he informs me. "and whenever I want to talk to Amy alone, her friend stays close and barely takes her eyes off of us."

"Well, you told me she's in a secret relationship with that Tyler guy, right?"

"Yeah, they're extremely close."

"Well, Mr. Roussel, that is your issue," I blink, an eyelash peeking inside my eyelid. "Jesus Christ."

"What is it?"

"A damn eyelash."

"What?" Antoine laughs, his eyes finally showing a bit of amusement.

"The tiny hair is in my eye," I open my eyes wide after blinking constantly. YouTube should create a 'Cecilia Anderson blinking compilation'. 

-

"Okay, Jamie," I take a seat on a comfy chair in my apartment. "start from the beginning."

"I was practically surrounded by people that were sexually active," Jamie starts. "everyone seemed to be doing it but I was scared at first...I mean I was always scared when I had started having sex but back then the thought of it just terrified me. Girls knew I was a virgin and the knew how I wanted to fit in so they offered sex but I couldn't bring myself to say yes to them. I can't have sex with random girls that I don't feel anything for. One day in Sex Education, the teacher was trying to teach us how to put a condom on and it took me so long just to put it on a freaking cucumber. The kids bullied me for my innocence and I knew I had to do something about it. So, I finally got the courage to take the girl that I liked; Noelle. She was a virgin too but wasn't scared of anything and one day she had told me how she wanted to try sex with me. That night, I counseled myself into doing it. My friends were telling me it was a good idea. My body shape was telling me it was a good idea. And once all of that took over, I couldn't back out of it. We were both pretty inexperienced and I honestly feel lucky that I was able to get the condom on because that would've embarrassed the crap out of me. But overall, the sex was good. She and I began dating after that and I was mostly-excuse my wording-horny. I always wanted sex after Noelle broke up with me, I told my uncle what was going on. I couldn't sleep, I was failing my classes and a few times I almost got expelled from school.

"My uncle took me to the doctor and I got a lot of medication which only helped with my concentration for school and grades and I had also gotten sleeping medications. Nothing worked because the urges overpowered everything. My dosages were extremely high and even then nothing worked. Even now, they take over sometimes. But anyway, every single girl I met and felt something for, I had sex with. It just went like that for years. I still wonder how I've managed to get through my life because you know what they say, 'sex kills'."

I look at the blank sheet paper sitting on my lap. There's nothing to write down. Nothing that I can put down into words. It's all so much to process...almost way too extreme with the amount of emotion radiating off of Jamie.

I think for a few seconds and then my mind stops in my personal life.

"Can I tell you something about my sex life?" I ask him. "wait...I'm sorry. That came out of nowhere."

"I don't care, I do it all the time."

Holy crap. "You probably already know this but I'm possibly the most innocent person you've ever met."

"Well, you have a dirty mind so that's a step right there," Jamie points out. I chuckle. "continue."

"I've only had sex once and it was when I was seventeen," I admit. This is like a damn therapy circle. "the guy was terrible and I've denied it ever since."

"Why weren't you denying me then?"

My cheeks flush a deep shade of red. "Because I can trust you."

"How?" he furrows his eyebrows. "you don't know much about me."

"Well, I know about your addiction, so at least there's something," I tell him.

"I'm not a good person though."

"Sex changes you," I inform him. "it could be for the better or for the worse. I know I've only known you for a few days but I know that you're not who you think you are. You are so much better than the person you've convinced yourself to be."

"How would you know?"

"I'm supposed to know," I explain. "if I knew nothing about you, what kind of therapist would I even be?"

"I guess you're right," Jamie sighs. "do you think I'll ever go back to how I was before everything changed?"

"I know you will," I say, looking up at him.

The room goes silent and the tension increases as I hear Jamie breathing heavily.

"Cecilia?" he whispers.

"Hmm?"

"Why's it so dang hot in here?" Jamie asks me and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. I notice sweat dripping from his hair and I swallow a lump forming in my throat.

"I'm actually cold," I mutter, feeling shy.

Jamie stands up and I shiver. At first, I'm confused as to what he's doing but then, he lifts his shirt up off of him and sets it back where he was sitting.

He steps towards me and my breath hitches as he takes a seat beside me in the chair. He wraps his strong arms around my small body and presses soft kisses to my temple and cheek. My body lightly shakes in fear and I lean into Jamie's bare chest for comfort. "What are you so afraid of?" He asks me.

"Y-Your urges," I reply, stuttering.

"Shh, baby, I'm not horny."

"Then why are you so warm right now?" I question him, his arms tightening around my shoulders.

"It's because my body always heats up with a mix of excitement and terror when I talk about my sex addiction from beginning to now," Jamie whispers. His thumb rubs the nape of my neck and he manages to get me to stop shaking so bad. "but that's okay because you're here to keep everything from being too drastic."

"That's what I'm here for," I lift my shaking hand to touch his jaw. I clear my throat, making zero effort to move my palm. "Jamie."

"Yeah?"

"What are we doing?" I question, my face heating up.

"What do you mean?"

"It's hard to word," I breathe. Are we dating? Are you my boyfriend? Friends with benefits?

"Are you asking what we are?" Jamie asks me.

"Bingo."

He thinks for a few moments, the room goes dead silent. "We can be whatever you want to be."


	5. Day Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Jamie and Cecilia hold their attraction in any longer?
> 
> An unexpected individual will find out first.
> 
> Will this person learn to sabotage the affair?

Jamie

Wanting Cecilia right now is by far the most inconvenient thought possible.

"Jamie, we are at a football game," Katie mutters. "I know you want her, but this is worst place you could ever get hormonal at."

"I know," I sigh in distress. "I barely have control of my body anymore, though."

"I'll go get her," Katie tells me and I let out a deep breath that I hadn't known I was holding in.

I glance past the people in the crowd and notice Cecilia smiling and laughing with a guy that is ten times better looking than I am. My heart thuds in my chest and I'm terrified that she's not interested like she says she is. I don't know how I'd be able to take that since I've already fallen deeper than I should for her. The entire situation is going to enervate me and I'll end up getting suicidal again. I promised Katie I wouldn't bring myself down like this but Cecilia will either make me feel great or my own anger for myself can cause the demons inside to become hostile. They're so dang obnoxious sometimes-scratch that, most of the time.

Cecilia waves goodbye to the guy she was talking to and she and Katie make their way towards me. I swear to god, if I see her with that guy again I'll-

"You needed me?" Cecilia breaks me from my thoughts.

"I...uhm," I mumble, my heart pounding in my chest. I clear my throat and take my SnapBack off, bringing my hair back as I stare off into the distance. I put the hat back on my head and glance back down at Cecilia. Her eyebrows are raised and has a slight curve on her lips. "can you come with me?"

"Sure," she nods and tells Katie that we'll be right back.

She follows me over to a dark area where nobody is around and I stop in my tracks. Cecilia accidentally walks into my shoulder and blushes immediately. She mutters a quick 'sorry' before I pin her against the wall.

"J-Jamie," she whimpers.

"Who was he?" I growl into her ear.

"His name was Dun-wait why the hell would it even matter to you?" she glares. "we aren't dating."

"Has it ever occurred to you that I really don't want to lose you?"

Cecilia stares deeply into my eyes but the frown on her face doesn't leave. "no, it hasn't."

"I thought it was pretty obvious," I grip her hip and pull her body closer to mine. I know that she knows how obvious it is. But I also know that she doesn't want to believe it.

"Not the slightest bit," she swallows and blinks, excitement showing in her eyes. Yet she refuses to uncover it.

"C'mon, even I know how noticeable it is," I say, huskily. "stop trying to deny it. It's just going to stress you out." She stays silent and I once again speak. "now, Cecilia, who was he?"

"He helped one of my clients with getting her ex behind bars," she whispers. "his name is Duncan and I had wanted to thank him for helping out."

"You looked like you were flirting with him," I say in a deep voice, my teeth clenching together.

"Jamie..."

"What?" I snap. "is it too much to just say that I want you in more ways than one? Seeing you with someone that is obviously way better than me just kills me."

"Well I can't stand when someone tries to tell me that you hurt everything that gets in your way because I know it's not true but now I'm not sure because the way your voice is sounding is scaring me."

"Who told you that?" I get my face threateningly close to her's.

"I-I found their social media accounts..." she trails off, except I don't catch what she says.

"You what?" I furrow my eyebrows.

Cecilia

"You what?" Jamie questions, calmly but furiously at the same time.

"I found their social media," I repeat, unable to make eye contact with him.

"Why?"

"Because I already know who they are," I answer him, letting out a shaky breath.

"How?" Jamie's nose brushes up against mine, his hand still gripping my hip. I shake my head, not wanting him to know. "Cecilia...babe...please. I don't care if it was bad. I just want to know." When did he suddenly get the urge to call me 'babe' or 'baby'?

"It was when Katie and I went out into the city," I mutter. "they said terrible things. Said you used them for sex. I don't remember what else, I didn't want to hear it."

"They don't even know," Jamie groans, looking above me. "they don't know what it's like to live with a sixteen year old's hormones."

"Iris said something bad online too though," I say.

"What was it?"

"She said that you've f*cked all of your therapists."

"What the hell?" he tightens his grip even more. I wince at how strong his hold is on my hip. "that's just wrong."

"Is it?" I begin to feel terrible. God, Cecilia, the way Jamie effects you.

"I didn't mean it like that..." he trails off and I look down at my feet. He sighs and licks his lips, putting his left hand above my shoulder against the wall. "I'm sorry, that wasn't supposed to be taken the wrong way."

I say nothing.

"Please forgive me," he begs, bringing his thumb under my chin, causing me to look up into his eyes. "I'm so sorry. That was hurtful, and I didn't mean it."

"I just..." I sigh. "I don't know why it hurt me. I can't tell if it's because I'm attracted to you or-"

"Wait what?" Jamie's eyes widen. "you're attracted to me?" I nod slowly. "Cecilia, you could lose your job!"

"I know, I know," I lift my hand up, accidentally bringing his shirt up with. His body tenses up and I blush, madly. I pull my hand away and let his shirt fall back down. "I just don't care anymore."

"Huh?" Jamie moves his body back closer to mine.

"It's hard to explain," I reply.

"We have time."

I close my eyes and turn my head to the left. "I want to fix you. I really do. And if I lose my job doing so, then I'll lose my job. You're more important than the others at this point."

"How am I more important?"

"Everyone else is practically fixed," I explain. "you're addiction can kill you. It's life threatening. Everyone else that has had problems like you haven't been as bad and they were tons easier to cure. But with you, I've been tweaking the rules."

"Why?" Jamie steps away from me, scratching the back of his neck while I stay with my back against the wall. "why am I so important?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I mumble.

"Nobody would want to fix me and then you're doing this for me."

"Jamie, you're not the man that you see yourself as," I whisper, staring into his eyes. "all of them couldn't see it but I can. You're different. They thought you could take their threats. But I know what you're like. You're not the type of person that could care less about who they are. Those past therapists didn't notice how you wanted it to stop. How you wanted to be cured. But I can see it."

Jamie doesn't say anything. He just stares at me. I take a few deep breaths, waiting for him to speak but he doesn't. All he does is stride over to me quickly. My heartbeat becomes faster and his hands cup my cheeks. I gasp as he glances down at my lips eagerly. Jamie smirks, gazing into my eyes and rubs my cheekbone.

"Just kiss me already," I say, lust clear in my voice.

"Why do you want me to kiss you?" he tilts his head to the side. This is so messed up.

"I don't want it, I need it."

When I say this, Jamie brings his head to the skin right next to my ear and my cheek. He presses a light kiss to it and slowly moves towards my cheekbone. I whine at how long he's taking and he chuckles against my skin.

I bring my hands up to his wrists and I bring them down to my hips and he pulls away, confused. "I love it when you hold on tight to my hips." I whisper and he licks his lips.

Jamie, once again, gets his face extremely close to mine, teasing me. He seriously needs to stop doing things this. It throws me off the edge and sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get back up. His lips brush against mine and I moan from frustration. "Jamie..."

"Cecilia..." he trails off before kissing my lips firmly. His hand massages my hip and I whine into the kiss. My body surrenders to him and I struggle to stay standing. Jamie cups my bum, not in a sexual way, and manages to keep me on my feet. "you're so weak right now." He says against my lips, his voice raspy.

"I know," I whimper. "you cause that." Jamie pecks my lips and presses his forehead against mine. We both hear Katie calling for us and I let out a breathy laugh and Jamie does the same but we don't move from the position we're in. I stare into his eyes and he blinks a few times. "Screw it." I grasp his shirt and pull his lips back to mine. His tongue slips into my mouth and my body becomes numb. How in hell will we get through our sessions together? Especially without ripping each other's clothes off? 

"Cecilia," Jamie mumbles. "We should stop."

"I don't think so," I purr, nibbling on his lower lip.

"Do you now?" he smirks, his hand grabbing my thigh and lifting it up slightly. I gasp, giving his tongue full entrance to return back to my mouth. I moan, our lips not leaving the others. My hands trail up his hard abdomen to his chest. I have to try way too hard to keep myself together. I cannot have sex at a football stadium. Let alone, in public.

I very faintly hear someone turning on their heel and gasping. "Oh my god. What is this?"

Jamie jumps away from me and his face turns completely red and I stare at my feet. Neither of us can face each other. I can't tell if Jamie feels embarrassment or disappointment. All I want is to run over to him and give the man comfort.

"You weren't supposed to see this," I whisper, sheepishly. I take a deep breath. "Well, nobody was supposed to see this."

"I just did," Katie puts her hair up. "I can't say whether I'm happy or mad about it. I mean, I'm not mad but I'm definitely not happy with Jamie."

"Don't be angry at him," I sigh.

"Why not?"

"I'm the one that wanted it more than him," I admit, noticing Jamie shaking his head at me. "What? It's true. I'm just really good at hiding it."

"You're not that good at hiding it with him," she points out. I need to work on my acting skills.

"I know," I sigh in distress. "I don't even want to hide it anymore." I pause. "This is so bad."

For what seems like centuries, the three of us continue to stay silent, staring at each other. We don't know what to say and eventually, it gets so quiet that one can hear our breathing. They could undoubtedly hear our thoughts by now if they listen hard enough - well, maybe if they were Sigmund Freud. The aspirations spinning through my head are almost too loud for me to stand and I plug my ears, trying to bring them to an end. But they refuse to stop. They continue to race and take over my brain, telling me to do things that I wouldn't normally do. At least not back then. Now, anything can happen.

"Come on guys," Katie thankfully speaks, getting rid of the screams in my head. "let's go, the game is ending soon." I nod and start walking towards her and Jamie follows close behind.

"Hey, I'm going to stop in the bathroom," I inform Katie and step inside the facilities. I take a deep breath and stop to look in the mirror. You are indeed a mess, Cecilia. All I can think about is Jamie. Thoughts of him will never leave my mind. He's the only one that has made me feel with way and I can't decide if I like it yet or not. Obviously, I do. No matter how hard I try to convince myself that I don't, I always come back to the conclusion that I like it.

-

I straighten my dark red cocktail dress as the snow falls down on my nose. My coat hugs close to my body and I wave for a cap. To my luck, one comes right away. I give the driver the address to the expensive restaurant I'm going to so I can celebrate Tyler's, Katie's cousin, birthday with them.

I stare up at the dark pink sky from inside the taxi cab and smile. There's something about the winter skies that really gets to me. The beauty touches my heart and sets my emotions in flames. I can't help but feel happy. Winter just makes me happy in general. The children playing outside in the snow brings me back to the days when I was a little girl. I always had a big grin on my face back then. I guess it's because when you're that young, you don't really know the difference between happy and sad. Yes, there's still tears, but the smiles overlap the frowns.

Sometimes I wonder what Jamie was like when he was little. I wonder if he was just as happy as I was. Lord, I truly hope he was.

Once the taxi pulls up to the restaurant, I step out, tipping the driver and once again straightening my dress. My eyes glance down at my feet and then up to the door and I locate a large group of people and my heart skips as soon as I notice Jamie seated next to Katie. Sometimes I find myself praying to God that they aren't attracted to each other in some sort of way. And then I have to remind myself that what Jamie and I have is so powerful. So strong that I can tell it'd take a lot to break us apart even though we aren't even dating.

When I enter the restaurant, the entire group goes silent and Jamie swears under his breath. Katie stands up from her seat and brings me in for a hug. Then Tyler does the same. "Thanks for coming."

"It's my pleasure," I smile. "Happy Birthday, Tyler."

"Thank you, I'm feeling old already," he jokes and I laugh. I glance down at Jamie and notice him giving me a nervous look.

I take a seat next to Jamie and I observe the entire group and my eyes widen as I see Antoine sitting at the other side of the table. He looks up and coughs as soon as his eyes lay on me. He gives me an awkward wave and I do the same.

I lean over to ask Katie about it but Tyler speaks before me. "Cecilia, this is my good friend, Amy." Suddenly everything starts falling into place. So Tyler is the one Antoine is competing with.

"Hi Amy, I'm Cecilia," I give her a warm smile. "It's very nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," she grins and we shake hands. "how are you connected here?"

"Friend of Jamie's," I reply and I notice Jamie shifting his chair closer to mine. Definitely more than a friend.

"That's good, we were really starting to get worried about him," Amy informs me.

"I'm always worried about him," I admit and Jamie places his palm on my thigh. Does he have to do this at a damn restaurant? Katie quietly says 'awe' and I blush.

Amy motions for me to lean across the table so she can ask me something. "Do you have feelings for him?"

I nod. "they're so bad."

"I can tell," she replies. I furrow my eyebrows, wondering how it's that noticeable. "I mean, you did sit right next to him."

"Good point."

"Do you have any siblings?" Amy asks me, out of nowhere.

"Yes, I do," I reply. "An older brother, in fact."

"Really?" she smiles. "I have a younger brother! He admires Tyler. Sometimes they are nearly inseparable." 

"That's adorable!" I bring my lips into a pout, wishing I had a younger sibling.

Jamie clears his throat, getting my attention.

I lean back into my seat and Jamie wraps his arm around my waist. I look at him and our faces were closer to each other than I had been intending but honestly, I can't complain.

"How've you been since yesterday?" I question him, lowering my voice. He glances down at his hand which rests firmly on my hip. He opens his mouth to speak and for a couple seconds, no words come out. Before he's able to say something, though, Tyler speaks.

"Cecilia, have you met everyone else yet?" he asks. I shake my head, no. "my god, you assholes, introduce yourselves."

"Hi, I'm Cody," a guy with ginger hair gives me a grin.

"John."

"Jason."

"Antoine," I shift awkwardly in my seat.

"Patrick Sharp."

"Patrick Eaves," another guy says.

"Jordie," a guy with a beard smiles at me. "Jamie's brother."

"And I'm Vernon," the last guy tells me and flashes me a smile causing Jamie to kiss the top of my head.

"It's very nice to meet you all," I reply. "I'm Cecilia."

"Ahh, you must be Jamie's new girlfriend," Sharp beams. "he talks about you a lot."

I look back at Jamie and his face is almost as red as a tomato. I blink and look back at Patrick and talk. "what does he say?"

"He says that you're perfect in every single way," he replies and my lips curve into a small grin. "but the thing he seems to talk about the most is your eyes. He says he tends to get lost in them a lot since they look like a 'photograph of a hurricane forming taken from outer space'. With touches of green, blue and grayish-white."

My eyes start to tear up and I can't find the words to say.

"Cecilia," Jamie whispers in my ear. I turn my body back to face him. "he's telling the truth."

I blink away the tears in my eyes. "nobody has ever said that about me before."

"Maybe that's why I'm here," Jamie mutters, the multiple conversations around the table going mute and all I can hear is him. "to point out all of the things that nobody else has. To make sure you feel like a queen. To show you what it's like to know the right between the wrong way to touch someone."

"J-Jamie," my breath catches in my throat, unable to put my feelings for him into words.

"I know, it's crazy," he tells me, gazing into my eyes. "but even if I wanted to, I would never be able to lie to you. I have nothing to hide. I'm like an open book with every single emotion and word written down on to a thousand pages."

"Everyone has something to hide, though," I remember what Connor told me a few days ago.

"I don't have shame in the fact that I'm just friends with my therapist," Jamie emphasizes 'just friends' in a playful and sarcastic tone. He makes sure to whisper the part about me being his therapist in my ear so the other guys don't hear it.

My heart thuds in my chest and I thank god that a waitress comes to the table to take our orders. To my disadvantage, Tyler orders us all a large pizza. I'm not complaining but I didn't have enough time to think of a way to answer Jamie.

"I like the sound of that," I smirk and Jamie does the same.

"Good," he breathes. "because I love it." Goddam. Holy crap. Oh my god. The thoughts swirling around my head are terrible for this occasion. I can't believe my hormones are acting up at Tyler's damn birthday dinner.

Jamie gives me a confused look. "Cecilia, are you doing okay? You're looking pretty intense."

"I," I look around the table to make sure nobody is eavesdropping. "I'm - you're making me want you. And not in the cute and cuddly way."

"Holy fu-crap," he almost curses.

While waiting for the food, Jamie and I manage to stare at each other without losing any articles of clothing and the waitress finally comes to the table with the pizza that Tyler had ordered.

I grab a single slice of pizza and place it on my plate and I notice Amy and Antoine eyeing each other. Tyler sits in his seat, not realizing anything about the two and I feel a pang of guilt for him. I can tell exactly how he feels for Amy. But then I feel the emotions radiating off of her aren't as strong but they're still there. I know she isn't committed to anyone at this point. Yet I can also tell that her sentiments towards Tyler are almost as powerful as mine are for Jamie.

Amy gives Antoine looks of lust and intense sensual thoughts; for Tyler, it's affection and deep emotion straight from the bottom of her heart.

I sense that my body might panic at any moment. That's what I get for being an observer. Sounds pretty creepy, I know, but it's part of the way my brain works. One could conclude that I'm a deranged Gypsy sitting next to a glass ball all day long. But the thing is, just from someone's everyday actions, I'm able to see through the shield they put around their true self.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Vernon asks me.

"Oh, I don't know," I reply. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"I can tell, you looked pretty deep in thought there."

I shrug. "what can I say? I'm a busy girl."

"Really?" he raises his eyebrows. "what do you do for a living?"

"I'm a Therapist," I tell him. Vernon nods impressed.

"That must keep you pretty busy," he points out. "isn't it a bit stressful though?"

"Well, the main thing you have to be able to manage in order to keep the job is your stress," I inform him. "in my personal opinion, the occupation is more of an organizational job. Meaning, staying organized plays a huge part. If one thing goes missing, you're practically screwed."

"Damn, sounds pretty serious, I guess."

"Yeah, a few of my clients cause the job to get a bit consequential," I groan and Jamie pinches my thigh rather hardly and I wince, smacking his hand away.

"Have you ever shared any of your cases with anybody?"

"Nope," I reply. "I keep most of my files stored away and confidential. I feel like if I were to allocate any information I'd lose a lot of trust." Vernon nods and he then gets back to a different conversation. I shift my body back to look at Jamie and I give him a glare.

"So I make your job 'consequential'?" he growls under his breath.

"You're quite honestly a pain in the ass," I whisper, my lips brushing against his ear, breathing hot air on his skin. "sometimes I lay there just wondering why I still deal with you but then I wonder how I couldn't not deal with you."

Jamie whines and practically lays on my chest. "I'm not that bad."

"Oh, please, babe," I mutter. What's with the pet names lately?

"'Babe' eh?" he raises an eyebrow.

"I'm pretty used to you calling me that," I inform him. Jamie blushes and the waitress comes back and grabs the tray that held the pizza to take it away from us.

Jamie

Outside the restaurant is when my jealousy and hormones start to kick in. Practically this entire time Cecilia's been talking to Sharpy and Vernon; can't forget to mention the constant glances at Antoine.

Standing out here in the cold, I can't locate where she could have gone. I know she didn't leave the area entirely since she hasn't said goodbye to anyone yet.

I stare down at my dress shoes and put my hands into the pockets in my coat. My feet guide me over to the back of the building and I see two figures but I can't make out who they are or what they're saying.

As I get myself closer, I start to hear random words like "Jesus", "why" and "sexy". Eventually, I'm able to listen in on a few sentences.

"...you didn't think to tell me who he really was?" I overhear Cecilia say, frustrated. "you could've given me a last name at least like 'oh yeah, Amy's friend is Tyler Seguin'. Maybe then, I would've known what to expect."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell you," Antoine says this time. "I didn't know you all were buddy-buddy with each other."

"Well, I had to sit through dinner watching you and Amy give each other googly eyes," Cecilia hisses. "I honestly don't understand this...you get with her when she's basically with Tyler."

"She's the one that grants me permission."

"I get it but you're initializing it," Cecilia tells Antoine and my eyes widen. What the hell is Antoine thinking? I've heard enough of this. This is just...just plain-ugh I don't know. I just don't like it.

"Cecilia?" I call out, pretending I didn't hear anything.

"I'll talk to you later," she tells Antoine and looks over his shoulder. "Jamie?"

"I'm over here," I say. "sorry, I thought you left so I came to find you just in case you were still here." I glance back at Antoine as Cecilia shuffles back towards me.

"I can't leave without seeing you first," she mumbles in my ear. A wave of heat rushes through my body. The pale complexion on her face gets me so in awe. A lot of times, I catch myself staring at her. But I know it's okay because sometimes I catch her staring at me. When I do, she always looks down and blushes which I honestly hate. I just want to see her beautiful eyes to gaze straight into mine every single time.

"I could say the same about you."

This catches her off guard and she stops walking. Cecilia glances up at me but doesn't look away. She steps towards me and stands up on her tiptoes. "Why the hell do you have to make me feel this way?" she whispers before pressing a light kiss to my lips. She tries to step away from me but I grab her hips before she can.

"What's with us hiding our attraction from people that don't even know?" I mutter then I kiss her. She pulls away, tightening my tie and staring into my eyes.

"We're just not the same as usual couples and that's okay," Cecilia licks her lips, then straightens out my suit jacket. Lord, if she starts trying to fix my belt... "it's good to be different from everyone else. Maybe this is just what we're comfortable with."

"Is it because there's somebody else?" I ask, swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

"I was thinking the same about you," she whispers. I raise an eyebrow. "I don't know...I just always find myself worrying that you like Katie or something..."

"Never ever," I grab her face in mine. "will I ever be interested in her. She's been trying to catch the same guy for three years. I can't ruin that even if I wanted to - which I don't. I'm too busy trying to catch you."

She's too perfect to lose. Too fragile to let go of. Cecilia's too dangerous to leave.


	6. Day Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will the two ignore their initial plan of waiting?
> 
> What happens when Cecilia goes out alone?

Cecilia

A waitress comes to our table and hands us our drinks and I can't help but stare into Jamie's eyes. I also can't help but think about how I totally should've fixed his belt last night. But with Antoine nearby, that would've been extremely risky and well, sex outside in the winter isn't exactly a fantastic idea. Not that we are ever going to engage in any of that type of activity anytime soon though.

"Here's your water Miss," the waitress gives me a look. She then turns to Jamie and leans over to hand him his drink and practically pulls her boobs out. Her chest basically yells out 'stuff your face in here' and Jamie looks at me, scratching the back of his neck.

"I-uh, sorry..." he trails off, looking for the girl's name tag. "oh, Francesca, yeah sorry but I'm already busy with someone else's chest." He winks at me and I raise my eyebrows, smirking. 

"At least I've got a chest," she glares at me and take a sip of my water.

"At least I've got someone who likes mine."

Francesca's jaw drops and she stomps away from our table and I laugh into a napkin. I look at Jamie and raise my eyebrows for the fiftieth time, referring to what he had just told the girl.

"What?" he questions me.

"You're busy," I say. "with my chest. Out of anything you could say, I didn't expect to hear that."

"It's not like it's untrue," he shrugs.

"Good one, Benn," I chuckle.

"I'm serious, Anderson," Jamie stares straight into my soul as if I am the thing he wants most; sex.

"W-What?" This should not be a surprise by now. But for some reason, it is. "I-I mean I don't know what to say." Damn, Cecilia, do you have a speech impairment?

"You don't have to say anything," he replies, getting extremely cocky.

Once we get our food from a different server, it's silent until we leave and even then, neither of us can think of anything reasonable to talk about. The amount of tension I'm feeling between the two of us is almost uncomfortable. Yet I find myself kind of liking it. It's somewhat different from the tension we feel during Jamie's appointments. This time, it's mixed with lust and desire; two similar things with completely different needs. We sit down in his car for a few moments before I break the silence.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" I whisper.

"Hmm?" he glances at me.

"Like go somewhere?" I say.

The air between us changes and my heart races. "Where do you think we should go?"

"I don't know."

"How about we go to my place for a change?" he suggests and I swear, I get turned on a little.

"Whatever is good with you, I'm good with," I reply and he starts the car.

Jamie

I don't think I've ever been this eager to drive to my place. Normally I'm dreading it but now, with Cecilia, I'm unusually excited to get there and bring her up to my room so we can be alone. God, part of me feels so ready for anything with her. But she's not ready and I will respect that. I refuse to disrespect her in any way no matter what. Even if she leaves.

As I pull into the driveway, I practically jump out of the car and Cecilia looks a bit surprised from my eagerness. I give her a smirk and she gasps, knowing what I want. No, what I need. I step around the car and open her door smoothly and she unbuckles. I take her hand in mine and lift her up and her arms wrap around my neck and she smiles, her eyes gazing into mine lustfully. Someday she'll be all mine. Whether we just hang or we just bang, every single part of her will be mine.

"Jamie, it's cold," she whispers, suggesting we go inside.

"And?" I practically growl. My lips brush against hers and I feel her breathing completely change.

"I'd rather be in your bed instead of out here."

Oh fu-"Well, then, shall we get inside?" I chuckle, knowing she's turned on.

"Please," Cecilia whines.

"Just be quiet," I put my index finger against her soft lips.

"My lips are sealed," she purrs and giggles.

I put my hand in hers and we walk up to the front door. I open it with ease and I hear the tv is on in the family room and carefully close the door. Cecilia and I tip toe up the steps to my room and I lock the door and pull her against me.

"Finally," I breath, pulling her hips against mine. She moans, her hands gripping my shirt.

"Oh my go-Jamie," Cecilia presses her lips against mine. For a while, we kiss without stopping, not even controlling ourselves.

"Jump," I say demandingly and she puts each hand on my shoulders and jumps up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I feel her body tremble and I walk over to my bed and lightly sit her down. "Cecilia, baby, what's wrong?"

"I-I'm sorry," she stares up at me with her bright eyes which have more grey in them than usual.

"Don't apologize," I take both of her hands in mine. "I'm sorry, I know this is going so fast."

"Jamie I want this, I really do," Cecilia informs me, her face showing so much fear. "I'm just, I don't know, it's so hard to explain."

"We have time," I seat myself on the bed next to her.

"I want to help you and fix you but it's getting harder and harder."

"What makes it hard?" Jesus, that was sexual. My face turns excessively red.

"The needs I have..." Cecilia stares down at her thighs. I'd kill to get in between those. "I feel like I need to have sex with you but I can't until I'm able to get you to a point where you're more able to control your urges."

"This is why I wish I was able to control myself," I lay back against my bed. "sex would be, with the lack of a better word, fantastic with you."

"Jamie..." Cecilia whines my name. Is she trying to turn me on even more?

"Hmm?"

"Why am I so horny?"

"Please..." I trail off. "let me show you how good you can feel..."

"J-Jamie," she lays her head against my chest. "trust me, I'd kill for that."

I hate myself so much for not being better yet. I need my control back. It's not like I just want to shove myself into Cecilia, there's so much more to her that I want to learn. It's just I'm so attracted to her. There's honestly so much that I wish I could do for her and to her. She isn't a pet and never will be. I can tell she has boundaries and I need to find a way to give myself the same ones. If I can't, then I'll have a problem.

"Someday, baby, someday," I whisper, playing with the hem on her shirt. "I promise." Someday she'll feel how good I am. She will know what it's like to be touched the right way. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But I know, our future will be sexy and eventful.

-

Cecilia

My eyes adjust to the city's darkness and I see a few men smoking a joint in an alley.

"No, her ass is mighty fine mate," I over hear one of the guys say. They must be Australian.

"A'ight Mike, bet," another laughs.

"Fine, how about we eat each of their arses..."

I quickly walk away, completely disturbed and shiver. I spy a Starbucks in the distance and slip inside the shop. The workers jump in surprise that I'm even here at this late hour.

"Sorry, scare ya?" I chuckle, stepping up to the counter.

"Just a bit," the guy behind the counter laughs. He eyes my pin on my coat. "where'd you get that pin? Aliexpress or Mercari?"

I shuffle awkwardly in my space and reply. "Oh, no I got it from Chanel."

"You can't be serious!"

"If I wasn't, I'd be telling you it's from Claire's or something," I laugh lightly.

"How much was it then?"

"Around five hundred thousand dollars," I admit.

"Holy crap, you must have bank!" the guy exclaims.

"Guilty," I shrug, knowing I have way more than just bank.

"Okay sorry, got a bit distracted," he blushes. "can I take your order?"

"I'll just have a hot chocolate for today," I tell him, unzipping my winter coat. "grande."

"I would've chosen a tall for you," the guy tells me, winking.

"Uh..why?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"You're so small!" he exclaims.

"I know that," I sigh. "can I just pay?" I feel irritation wash over me and I pull out my credit card.

"Oh..." he puts my order into the register and I cross my arms over my chest. "sorry. That'll be four dollars and forty five cents."

I give him a fake smile and swipe my card. He hands me a receipt to sign and I grab a pen.

"Who should I write this out to?" I smirk.

"What?" he gets confused. The kid has the worst sense of humor.

"Forget what I said," I tell him, annoyed. "here you go." I hand him their copy of the receipt and he hands me mine. I stuff it in my purse and find a place to sit, far away from the registers.

I check my phone to see that it's one thirty am and I shrug. Who even sleeps anymore? I definitely don't. With how intense all of my clients have gotten lately, I don't really have the time to sleep. Don't get me wrong, good sleep would be awesome. It's just not on my agenda right now. I'll bet that sometime in the not so distant future, though, I'll get bitten in the ass for it. I'll end up feeling dead, constantly worried, and wired beyond belief. But, I mean, I'll be fine as long as everyone else is in a happier state. I don't want them to feel the pain that they're feeling now.

"Hot chocolate!" a different worker yells out. Girl, it's almost two am, nobody else is here, shut your ass. I stand up from my seat and step over to the counter and grab my drink, quietly thanking her. I take the lid off of the cup and let the steam heat up my face and engulf myself in the scent of chocolate. My eyes close in pure bliss and imagine myself sitting below the Northern Lights at the Arctic Circle, a cup of hot cocoa in hand, the other holding my future husband's.

My lips touch the cup and the hot liquid slips down my throat. These are the moments I wish could last longer. Just silence and being alone to think. I need these times more than I anticipate. They're therapeutic for me and I wish I had more time to sit in Starbucks alone.

I stand up from my seat and put my coat back on, picking up my purse and hot chocolate and make my way to the door.

"Good night," a worker says to me and I nod in response, taking another sip of the drink and stepping out the door into the freezing Detroit air. The street lamps guide me down the streets back home and I pass by a few trashed teenagers laughing their asses off.

"Damn shawty," one of them hollers over at me.

I half curtsy. "Gentlemen."

"Ayeee," the guy drags and I blow a kiss at him as I pass the group.

"Yo, she totally digs you!" his friend yells out and I roll my eyes, amused by their intoxicated selves.

"Reallyyy?" he gasps.

"You never know," I shrug my shoulders and he leans on his friend, totally 'in love' with the fact that I'm even talking to them. "go to sleep love, you're drunk."

"No fun!"

"Life isn't fun," I reply. "don't want you to get killed before the next time you see me!" I joke.

"Dude," he says to his friend. "we gotta go to bed! I need to be alive when my future wifey and I get married!" Oh my god.

"Good night, future husband," I snort, walking away from the two guys and take a drink of my hot chocolate.

I make my way through the many streets of the city and finally manage to get back to my place by two thirty am. I sneak through the door and suddenly remember I'm the only one that lives here. Sighing, I check my phone to see a text from the one and only, Jamie Benn.

Jamie; 'I can't sleep.'

Me; 'neither can I'

Jamie; 'save space in that bed for me I'll be there in ten tops'

Well, I won't be alone tonight.

Me; 'Jesus fu*k'

Jamie; 'what?! You help me sleep'

Me; 'how romantic. Get your ass over here then.'

I have a feeling we won't be sleeping tonight. I place my phone on the counter and take my coat off, placing it in my coat closet. Picking my phone back up, I notice that Jamie texted me a wink. Yeah, we aren't sleeping. Not that I have a problem with that. Just can't have sex sex with him yet. Keyword is 'yet'. Honestly, we all know it's bound to happen at some point. I know myself. I know it's practically impossible to control my hormones when I'm around Jamie.

I take off my sweater once I reach my room and remove my bra, grabbing a loose Red Wings Gustav Nyquist shirsey. I undo the button on my jeans and pull them down my legs and change my underwear into some that are a bit more seductive.

Jamie

I quietly sneak out of the house and get outside and to my car. Once I get into the drivers seat, I let out a long breath that I had held while trying to get out without waking anyone.

I pull out the drive way faster than I pulled out of Iris the last time I had sex with her. Jesus, was she terrible. I know I won't be getting anything from Cecilia anytime soon, but just seeing her is like getting some from her.

Focusing on the thought of her all over me, I surprisingly manage to get there safely and pull into the front of her place. I lock the car once I step out and walk up to the front door and open it. Turning to my right, I see Cecilia sitting on her couch, watching Criminal Minds and eating Pirates Booty. Damn, the things I'd do to get a piece of that booty.

"You made it," she looks back at me, smirking. "come over here, babe." Holy shit.

I swallow and take my coat off, hanging it up, and take a deep breath. Walking over to her, she lifts her leg up. Scratch that. Her bare leg. She just had to not be wearing pants.

"Cecilia," I whine. "this is a sex addict standing right in front of you."

"And you're point is?" she stares at me lustfully.

"I'm low-key slap-happy," I admit. "and you have no idea how frickin' horny I get when I'm slap happy."

"I don't have a problem with that."

"Are you sure?" I give her a cheeky grin. She nods and I eagerly walk over to the couch and notice her red panties and pull her legs over to wrap them around my waist. "this'll be very fun, then."

"I'm excited," Cecilia breathes, her nose brushing against mine.

"You should be," I mutter, our lips threatening to touch. My palms trail up her thighs to up her sides and to her back. Her lips touch mine and she moves her hands back to grasp mine and she guides them down her her ass. I squeeze her bum and she gasps and I slip my tongue into her mouth. Her tongue grazes mine and she threatens to rip my white v-neck off. "go ahead, baby girl, take it off." I accidentally start giggling as her hands move to lift the shirt up my torso and she furrows her eyebrows.

"What's so funny?" she asks.

"Nothing," I continue to laugh.

"Oh, right," Cecilia breathes. "you're slap-happy."

Gonna dick you down.

"Do it when we're ready, Jamie," Cecilia blushes.

"Did I actually say that out loud?"

"Yes," she chuckles. "I don't mind though. Not like I don't want it."

"Jesus, I wanna sex you," I tap a random rhythm on her ass, trying desperately to stay serious.

"Well, you weren't wrong when you said you're horny when you're slap-happy," she points out.

"Pretty sure it's always been that way," I shrug, pulling the band of her panties back and releasing it, hearing it hit her ass.

"Jamie."

"Hmm?"

"Having fun there?"

I nod, smiling like a little kid. "It sounds like someone's slapping that ass."

"You need sleep, oh my god."

"I need you more."

"I could say the same," Cecilia wraps her arms around my neck, leaning on me. She yawns, snorting then laughing.

"What's so funny?"

"Nice boner," she giggles.

"Thank you," I say proudly. "I take pride in my erections."

"That's so hot," Cecilia purrs.

"Like you."

"No," she says. "that's all you."

"We're hot," I whisper. "hot and pretty damn steamy."

"Hmm, sounds like shower sex to me," Cecilia tells me and I swear I get ten times harder. "someone likes the sound of that, huh?"

"Shush," I mumble embarrassingly.

"Don't be embarrassed, babe," she whispers. "your dick isn't the only one that likes it."

"Christ, Cecilia," I moan. "we need sleep."

"Sleep is for the weak," she smirks.

"C..."

"What," she whines.

"C'mon, let's sleep, please," I brush my fingers through her hair.

"I guess I could do that," she jokes.

I grasp onto her small body and lift myself from her couch. Staring into her eyes, her arms tighten around my neck and her head rests on my shoulder. God, she's insanely beautiful. I can't imagine spending my time with anyone else. I'm glad I couldn't sleep tonight. It gave us an opportunity to see a different side of each other; total exhaustion.

Part of me just wants to hold her close forever but the other part of me just wants to have sex with her. But I need something in the middle. I want to fall deeply in love with her while she falls slowly against my chest after climax.

"Thank you for coming here," Cecilia whispers in my ear.

"It's my pleasure," I reply. And when I say that it's 'my pleasure', it truly is. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to pleasure her-go to sleep, Jamie-but I'm just happy to make her happy. 

"Of course it is," she laughs and her warm breath tickles my ear and I smile. "why are you smiling?"

"You're breath tickled my ear," I laugh lightly.

"Oooh," she nods. "tickle fight." Christ, we will never sleep. 

"It's three thirty," I tell her.

"Your point is?" Cecilia questions me. 

"You'll be sick if you don't go to sleep," I massage her hip and kick her bedroom door open. Walking over to her bed, I notice that she's already asleep and I grin at how peaceful she looks right now. 

So goodnight moon, and goodnight you, when you're all that I think about. All that I dream about.


	7. Day Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why can't Beatrice trust Jamie?
> 
> Jamie gets tested for an STD.
> 
> What does Cecilia's boss want?

Still Jamie

"Are you going to let me in?" I ask, a bit amused. "or are you just going to keep staring at me?" I stand at Cecilia's door and she just gazes at me. Her mouth is slightly open and she has a surprised look in her eyes.

She moves her lips, trying to breathe out something to say and I glance at her outfit. I'm a bit shocked to see what she's wearing. "I didn't expect you to be the type of person to own Huf socks," I smirk.

"W-What? Oh, these," she finally manages to speak. "let's just say I'm different." She turns around and looks around her place and I furrow my eyebrows, standing in her doorway.

"I might as well just come in instead of getting your apartment cold."

She gives me a panicked look and I then see a pale woman with jet black hair walk out of her kitchen. I slowly step into the place and gently take Cecilia's hands off of the doorknob and I close the door.

"Cecilia, who's this?" the woman asks and I mentally ask the same thing about the woman.

Cecilia clears her throat, trying to think of a lie. "I'm a friend of her's, my name's Jamie...and you are?"

"...her mother, Beatrice," she tells me, hesitating before shaking my hand. "why are you just barging in like this?"

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know she had company over...I just had to tell her something," I mutter, giving Cecilia a look of nervousness. She needs to know.

"Tell her what?" Beatrice crosses her arms over her chest, the various tattoos on her arms jiggling a bit.

"Uhm, it's a bit personal," I inform, blushing.

"Then why are you even going to tell her if it's personal?"

"Because I trust her."

I say that a little louder than I had intended.

"I'm sorta supposed to trust her even if I don't want to, I still want to," I speak before anyone else can. "if you have a problem with that, then it's yours. Nobody else's."

"Be careful, Cecilia," Beatrice tells Cecilia and I scoff. "he's screwed up in the brain. You don't know what he has in store."

With that, she's out of the door in seconds. She didn't even say goodbye to Cecilia and it makes me angrier.

"I swear, I'm the only sane one in that family," Cecilia walks into her bedroom, initiating for me to follow her. I feel rude if I say I'm thankful that her stygian mother is gone but it's the truth. I need peace and quiet with Cecilia and if I'm going to get that by going through her mom, then that's what I'll do; especially when her mother's mindset is to be like Medusa.

"There's got to be someone else that isn't like that," I say, taking a seat on her bed.

"Yeah, laying in their graves," she groans. "all of the bad things happen to the good people. They're all dead and now I tend to lay there wondering when my turn will come."

Tears come into my eyes. "no, Cecilia, that should be me."

"Why? You seem to have the perfect family!"

"Because now I might be stuck with a freaking STD for all we know," I cry out, tears spilling from my eyes.

"Yeah well, that's no-wait what?" she turns over and the terror in her eyes causes more tears to spill. "who says that?"

"Tyler and Katie both told me I need to go to the doctor to get tested but I can't do it alone."

"Are you saying you want me to go with?"

"Please," I lay myself down on her bed.

"Do you have an appointment scheduled?"

I nod. "they scheduled one for today." My stomach does flips as Cecilia mutters 'okay' and stands up to take her shirt off. What makes it more difficult is the fact that she doesn't even have a bra on. She steps over to her dresser and grabs a red lace bra. She tries to hook it in the back and struggles with it.

"Jamie?" she whimpers.

I perk up. "Hmm?"

"I, uh, can you help me?"

"Of course," I stand up. "what would you like help with?"

"My bra," Cecilia sighs and I gulp. You do know that bra might end up being on the floor before it can get hooked. I move all of her hair to the side. My fingers shake a bit before I grasp the lace material and pull it around her ribs.

"Tell me how tight you want it," I mutter and then clear my throat. "I mean the bra..."

She laughs lightly and tells me to hook it on the middle hook.

I do as she says and my heart races while I move my hands to the straps and I slowly straighten them out. When I let her hair fall down her back, she turns to face me.

"Thank you," she smirks. Cecilia gets on her tiptoes and pecks my cheek and I pout, wishing it was my lips instead. "usually I'm able to hook it on my own...but today was just a little difficult." As she says this, she winks and I groan, knowing she only did it to arouse me. Not going to lie, it definitely worked. But before my damn appointment? I don't think so.

"Babe, I can't just go to my doctor's appointment aroused," I cross my arms over my chest.

"You never know, it might help them find something easier," Cecilia pulls a shirt over her head. "if there is anything there, that is. Besides, I could always turn you off." I follow her out of her room and I take a deep breath.

"How?"

"Simple," Cecilia mutters. "just tell me what gets you unaroused."

"Well, for starters," I say, running my fingers through my hair. "saying things like that turns me on."

"How?" she questions me, her lips curving into a small grin. "it's just a simple question, nothing dirty about it."

"A lot of times it's not what you say," I explain. "it's the way you say it."

Cecilia

My insides heat up when Jamie replies.

"A lot of times it's not what you say, it's the way you say it," he explains, his voice getting deep and husky. My breathing gets irregular and I open the door to my apartment, letting Jamie step out first. The first few steps outside are generally warm, considering I have my coat on but after a couple moments, my body becomes cold.

I shiver and stare at my footsteps in the snow. While looking up at Jamie, I notice him slowing down a bit and he turns his head back to look at me. Once I reach him, he wraps his arm around my body and his body heat radiates on to me.

I stare around my neighborhood and I see many people shoveling their sidewalks and children having snowball fights or building snowmen. While smiling, Jamie pokes my cheek and pecks my forehead.

"You're so beautiful, you know that?" Jamie whispers into my ear. I blink, glancing up into his eyes and I feel butterflies erupt in my stomach. My lips curve into a grin and I shake my head. People don't tell me that. I'm not in many relationships like Jamie is so being told that I'm beautiful is like a pirate finding golden riches; it gives a feeling of exuberance but it's also hard to believe at the same time. "well, you should always know it. Every single day I sit there just thinking about how this has to be a dream and I never want to wake up from it. And it's all because they say you can only have perfect entities in your dreams."

"Jamie," I say, looking at him from the other side of his car. He opens his car door and raises his eyebrows, not sitting down. "this isn't a dream. You would have awakened from the fear."

"How can you be so sure?" he blinks, taking a seat in front of the steering wheel.

"It's more psychological for me," I sit down in the passenger seat.

"Meaning?"

"Not once have I ever dreamt about my therapy sessions," I tell him. "I've tried to but I never can. It's all real, Jamie. I try to wake myself up a lot now but I'm already awake. Perfect entities aren't always in your dreams...they can be real." The perfect ones are always the ones with risky decisions and heartfelt actions.

Jamie stays silent and I begin to get nervous, wondering if I said the wrong thing. For a few moments, we drive through the city in silence and all one can hear is our breathing. When we pull up to a red light, Jamie grips his hands tighter on the wheel. His jaw clenches and I stare out the window. "Disrespect, doing drugs, drinking too much all at once, making screeching noises, flipping through the radio without anyone else's opinion, ignorance, aggressiveness, interrupting."

"What?" I furrow my eyebrows, turning towards Jamie.

"Those are the things that turn me off," he tells me in a monotone voice.

"Oh," I whisper, looking down at my hands. "are there any others?"

"Not that I can think of," he replies. I mutter a quick 'okay' before we pull into the parking lot of the doctor's offices. I have to admit, even I'm getting nervous for Jamie. I just want him to be in good health. He can't afford to have an STD hanging on his shoulder; always there to remind him of the person he's become. I can't bear to see him in distress. Just imagining the fact that he could have one that isn't curable kills me. He could live with it forever.

I unbuckle the seatbelt and step out of the car into the cold air. Jamie does the same and gives me a look of terror. The feeling that he knows what the results are going to be, bubbles up inside of me and I quickly walk over to him, putting my hand in his. "It's going to be okay."

"What if I have herpes?" Jamie asks me, frantically.

"Jamie," I stop us right in front of the door. "have you had genital pains and sores?"

"No."

"Then you don't have herpes," I tell him. "and even if you did, we'd get your treatment. I'm not going to let you suffer from an STD."

"Are you sure?" he looks into the office.

"Yes, I'm sure," I mess his soft hair up. It's not slicked back again today and I must admit, I love it when it's natural and soft.

We walk over to the front desk and Jamie goes mute. I sigh and tell the woman sitting across from us his name and she then gives us a sheet to fill out all of Jamie's medical information.

"What is that?" Jamie whisper in my ear.

"It's medical forms," I tell him. "I had to fill one out for me too."

"Oh," he mutters, dully. "can you please skip the part where it asks how sexually active I am?"

"Yes but I still have to say if you're sexually active or not," I inform as I write down his name and then blush as I realize he never gave his age on the form for me. "Jamie, what's your age?"

"Hmm, oh, twenty-five," he answers me and I jot that down where it asks for his birthdate and age.

The next part is his eyesight. It asks if he wears glasses or contacts or nothing. I faintly remember seeing contact lens cases in his bathroom but also a glasses case. "Glasses or contacts...or none?"

"Contacts, sometimes glasses, though."

"Alright," I check the contacts box and move on to the forms. When I get to the portion where it questions you about the medication, I almost choke. I swear Katie told me he has Viagra or Cialis. I clear my throat and move closer to Jamie. "do you take any prescribed meds?"

"Uh...I do have Viagra but I've never taken it," he says under his breath. I nod and smirk. The man can't stay in the mood.

"It's not my fault I get turned off by most of the girls I've dated," he whispers in my ear.

"If I were a guy, I'd be turned off by them too."

He and I stare at each other for a few moments, probably out of habit, until a nurse calls him back. "Jamie Benn?"

He clears his throat, taking my hand in his and bringing me with him. "are you sure you want me to come with?" I mutter so only he can hear.

"Yes," Jamie tells me. "I've never been so sure about something before." I've put a spell on you, haven't I?

"Okay, fine," I sigh, smiling. "just for you." Jamie stops walking. He turns back to me as I walk right into his chest. Gosh, Cecilia, you really need to stop running into him.

He leans down quickly, pecking my lips and my entire body melts. The things that can happen so fast amaze me. At one time, I'd be having my first appointment with him. And now, I'm accompanying him to an appointment so he can get tested for an STD. But I guess they say that life is shorter than you think it is so you have to live it like you're going to die tomorrow.

"Alright, Jamie," the nurse says. "you're here for what again?"

"STD testing," he tells, getting shy. They nod and write that down on their sheet for notes. I take a deep breath and the nurse brings him back to a room which has a large variety of needles and containers. He looks back at me and I notice the fear on his face. I jog over to him and I slip my hand into his.

"It's going to be okay," I lean my head against his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he asks me. "what if the needles kill me? What if I bleed to death?"

"Jamie," I say. "look at me." He looks down at me. "nobody is going to die, okay? Calm down, just hold my hand if you need to."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because I had to go through the same exact procedure when I was seventeen," I admit. "if I could do that when I was seventeen, you can do it as a twenty-five-year-old."

-

By the time the tests are all finished, my hand is sore from Jamie holding it so tight.

"Jamie, you practically murdered my hand," I joke and he loosens his grip.

"Sorry," he brings my hand and presses his lips to my knuckles and kisses each and every single one. "all better?" I nod with a goofy grin, probably scaring Jamie a little.

"Jamie, your HIV results are in," Jamie grips onto my hand again, a bit less hard this time.

"And?" I speak for him.

"You tested negative so you are clear from that," the man tells us. "but, in order to prevent you from catching it, we have some special condoms for you. Don't worry about paying, these are free." He and I both let out a deep breath we had been holding in. The doctor grabs the condoms from the counter and sets the box in Jamie's hand, which I have to admit is rather large. "now, I advice you two to refrain from any sexual activity-assuming you two are together for the next few days until we find out the next few results. Syphilis results usually come in after about three to five days."

"I-I...we aren't dating," I answer. "but I'll make sure he doesn't try to have sex or anything." Jamie gives me a sad look and I look away quickly, not wanting to get myself down from the fact that it hurts him. Even if we are trying to control it, sometimes, I can feel the angst. I don't want to hurt him.

The doctor nods and tells us we can go. Jamie leans over, slipping his fingers through mine. I can feel how disappointed he is. "everyone else thinks we're dating."

"But we aren't, that's the problem."

Jamie again

"But we aren't, that's the problem," Cecilia tells me, looking down. I want to tell her that I know where her heart leads her but I can't.

She knows what she wants and I have a feeling that it's the same thing as me. The only thing standing between us is fear. She's afraid of what I might do; almost as scared as I am. She's afraid of losing her job. The thing I'm most conscious of is her fear of me. Although she says she isn't, I can tell she's afraid of me. Cecilia's terrified of who I am and what I've become. She's scared of the monsters inside of me that mask everything else.

"I know you're afraid of me," I mutter. "but Cecilia, believe me when I say this, you're the reason why I haven't shown my fear as much as I usually do. I can't afford to scare you away."

"You're not going to scare me away," she whispers. "it's my job to deal with your troubles."

"I just don't want to be the reason why you wake up one day and skip work," I pull her closer to me.

"Jamie," she steps into the waiting room. I follow her to the door and out into the snow. "there are so many people that depend on me to make them better. I can't just skip work because one of them stressed me out too much. Quick frankly, you don't stress me out...you fascinate me. You just make me want to know more."

"How can sex addiction fascinate you?" I ask her.

"It's just something I've never had a case of before and I want to know so much more," Cecilia replies. I look down as I take a seat in my car. I stare at the steering wheel for what seems like decades until I finally put the key in the ignition. When the car turns on, Cecilia finally sits down in the passenger seat and sighs. I can tell she thinks I'm mad. I'm not. I'm more hurt than anything. It's practically impossible to be angry at Cecilia. She's one of those types of people that can do something so terrible yet you can't be mad at them.

I don't think she understands my motives though. If she and I were to ever date, I'd actually want more of a mental relationship instead of physical. She makes me want to be a better man. She makes me want to get cured faster.

Yet she also makes me want to take my clothes off and make love to her. But I know that I can't do that. It's not part of the deal that I made with her. She promised me that she'd help me and I promised her that I'd cooperate with her. That's just not how my hormones think sometimes.

When the car comes to a stoplight, I glance over at Cecilia and she has an intense look on her face. "C?"

She jumps in her seat and I laugh lightly. "what? Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine," I reassure her. "you're just looking a bit too focused. Just wondering if you are doing alright."

"Oh, me," Cecilia clears her throat. "no, I'm fine. I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"You."

My breath hitches. "if you don't mind me asking, what about me are you thinking about?" God, Jamie, stop asking so many questions.

"There's so much that I'm thinking about and I don't know much about it all since it's a mix of multiple different thoughts swirled together," she explains. "I just know that they're only about you."

"The same thing happens to me," I admit, pulling up to the closest spot by her place. "I can be thinking about anything and my mind will find a way to bring you into it. And I can't say that I don't love it because I thoroughly enjoy having you stuck in my head."

"My head gets all screwed up because of you," Cecilia lets out a breathy laugh.

"How so?"

"The thought of you drives me insane," she mutters. I frown but she continues. "you're like some exorbitant dosage of ecstasy." She blushes as I say this and then glances over to the right and gasps. Her eyes blink frantically and she desperately tries to find a way to hide. I stare at where she looked and I see a man dressed in all black with a briefcase in his hand and a fedora on his head.

"Cecilia..." I lean down so my head is right on her shoulder. "who is that?"

"M-My boss," she whispers.

"Is there some back way to get into your apartment?"

She nods, telling me where to go and we manage to drive off without her boss seeing anything.

"Why're you so nervous about him seeing you?" I question her.

"Because he knows what you look like," Cecilia informs me as I pull through a narrow street, trying to locate her apartment from behind.

"How?"

"He's seen all of my clients," she tells me. "he's seen their cases. Except I keep yours hidden."

I begin to ask why but she interrupts me but I don't seem to care that she does.

"Your case isn't something that I'm comfortable with sharing," she mumbles.

"How come?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"Because sometimes I write down how I'm feeling on that notepad too," she admits. "it's not just your information. I feel like it's easier to figure out how you're feeling if I put some of my emotions on there too."

"Really?"

"Really."

I suddenly realize that we've been sitting in the car at the backside of her apartment and I motion for us to get inside. Once I'm out of the car, I walk to her side and open the car door for her and she stands up.

"It feels weird to be going inside from this side," Cecilia laughs. "I never come back here."

"Well, I guess you experience new things every day," I smile down at her, sliding my arm around her back, guiding her to the door.

"Yeah, like my boss coming to my apartment out of nowhere," she shrugs. "this has never happened before." Cecilia pauses and unlocks her back door. She glances down at her phone and I see the name 'Connor McDavid' and a message saying: 'What time are you open?' I grimace at the text and I notice her rolling her eyes.

"Who's Connor?"

"He's a semi-frustrating client."

"'Semi-frustrating'?" I furrow my eyebrows.

"He's pretty moody when it comes to girls," Cecilia sighs, setting her purse on the kitchen counter.

"How so?" I ask. "...sorry, I keep asking so many questions."

"It's okay," she chuckles. "but he's a player. During his last session, he told me how 'girls are wusses'. Connor is undoubtedly a royal pain in the ass."

"Am I a 'royal pain in the ass'?" Lord, Jamie, you've got to stop quoting her and asking questions about it.

"You're the good kind of ass pain," Cecilia laughs. We both stop speaking and the place is so silent that you can hear a pin drop. The only sound audible is her boss knocking on the door. She panics and shoos me over to her bedroom and then walks back out. I find myself accidentally staring at her bum and she glances back at me, raising her eyebrows. "stop staring at it."

"Oh um," I clear my throat. "s-sorry." She chuckles, closing the door, leaving me alone. I lean against the door and I overhear her speaking to her boss and his voice sounds annoyed while she sounds frantic.

"Cecilia, why couldn't you answer the door twenty minutes ago?"

"I just got home," she tells him.

"Why didn't you come in through the front door?" her boss questions. I silently groan and I look around the room, finding various articles of clothing.

"I had a doctor's appointment and the street out there is too icy to try to park on," Cecilia lies and I notice lace panties laying on the floor near the foot of her bed. My breath hitches and I feel myself get the urges. All alone in Cecilia Anderson's bedroom. Why the heck does her boss have to be here at a time like this? Couldn't he just wait?

I hear footsteps coming towards the door and I quickly lock it before anyone could come in. The next thing that happens scares me. There's a bang against the door and her boss practically screams for me to come out of the room. Except he doesn't even know who I am.

"Nobody is in there," Cecilia shouts. "get the hell out of my apartment!"

"I'm not leaving until you tell me where his records are," her boss growls.

"Who's records?"

"Jamie Benn's," he tells Cecilia and I had my breath.

"I told you five times already and I'll tell you again," Cecilia hisses. "they're not here. Now leave. You're violating my privacy...I thought you were supposed to be the boss of a freaking company for therapy." God, I want so bad to just punch his face in. This guy disgusts me. The fact that he even had the nerve to come here is excessively aggravating.

After a few moments, I hear the front door slam and Cecilia whines and knocks on the door. "Jamie."

"Cecilia," I say back to her.

"Can you unlock the door?" she asks. I unlock it and open the door so I see her tear stained cheeks. "today just plain sucks." She groans and falls into my arms.

For a moment, I stand there surprised but then I wrap my arms around her. "shh, baby, don't cry okay? Everything's all good now, I promise. Sure, your boss is a douche but he's gone now. Yes, I might have an STD but we're going to fix that, remember telling me that? You need to stay positive about this, Cecilia."

I lean in, to peck her lips and her body surrenders and she practically falls into my arms. The simple kiss turns into multiple passionate kisses leading us to end up laying on her bed, staring into each other's eyes-like usual.

This is where I want to be; nowhere else can beat this. Not even Disney World. Well, Disney is the happiest place on earth. 

I think somewhere else is, I think to myself. Dude, you probably have a gross disease on your dick, stop. 

But the thought of her is so tempting...

Stop.

It's as if I have an angel and devil on either side of my shoulders.

I mean, if you have sex with her, you would be able to satisfy your addiction.

But if you have sex with her, she would contract whatever you may have.

Screw it, just get up. 

I raise my body from on top of hers. Cecilia furrows her eyebrows, confused.

"What's wrong?" she asks me.

"I cannot do this."

"What do you mean?" 

"What if we accidentally..."

"Jamie," Cecilia whispers. "We won't. It's okay. If you don't feel comfortable yet, then we can wait."

"It's not that I'm uncomfortable," I mutter. "I just don't want to hurt you. I cannot do anything until we know for sure what's going on."

"I promise everything will be okay."


	8. Day Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What unusual information does Jamie receive?
> 
> How does Cecilia react to Jamie knowing more than he should?
> 
> Who is Lauren? 
> 
> What is Connor's new discovery?

Cecilia

Jamie grabs the remote from my hand and I chuckle remembering my dad always doing that with my mom. Those were the good ole days. Everyone was happy. Everyone lived a better life back then. I dream to live in the past. But if I did, I wouldn't be where I am today. I wouldn't be living in a mini-sized 'house'-like the Painted Ladies in San Francisco-in downtown Detroit. I wouldn't be a therapist. Even more, I wouldn't have met Jamie.

"What do you want to watch?" he asks me, interrupting my thoughts.

"You're the guest, whatever you want."

"It's too hard to choose on my own," Jamie whines. It's too hard for you to do anything on your own.

"Poor baby Benn," I pout. "do you need some help choosing?"

Jamie nods. "Yes."

"You're outta luck," I give him an innocent smile. "can't help you here."

He sticks his tongue out at me and I roll my eyes, playfully. Put that tongue back in your mouth. "Fine, how does Nymphomaniac: Volume I sound?"

"You're kidding, right?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"Nope," he shakes his head. "I honestly feel like that movie has to be about me."

"Jamie."

"Cecilia."

"That movie is literally a trap to make you horny," I tell him.

"Your point is?"

"You're not supposed to engage in any sexual activity until we know if you have anything," I sigh.

"The doctor never said dry sex wasn't allowed," Jamie mutters, huskily. I have to try really hard to not groan out loud and I continue gazing at Jamie.

"I'll have to think about it, okay?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Besides, let's just get this movie started."

I'm not one to watch movies that are basically porn but I also don't want to conserve myself. Once we get a little bit into the movie, I begin to realize how this girl really is the female version of Jamie. She didn't want to be a virgin anymore so she practically got addicted to sex; Just like Jamie.

Maybe this movie isn't so bad after all. Sure, half of it is the girl nearly begging for sex but it's interesting and it keeps you focused.

Throughout the movie, I embarrassingly find myself gazing at Jamie and concentrating on him more than the film. I hear the girl in the movie say 'he f*cked me in the ass' and Jamie's breathing changes. He glances over at me and the look in his eyes go from concentration to frustration. He pats the space next to him on the couch. I stand myself up and sit down next to him.

For a few moments, he and I sit beside each other, our thighs touching and the movie playing across from us. As soon as the last sex scene on the train plays Jamie turns the system off and curses under his breath.

"Screw it," I groan and turn myself over. I get my legs on either side of Jamie's hips and move my face so it's just centimeters away from his.

"Holy sh..." he trails off, biting his bottom lip. "why are you doing this?"

"I told you, I'd think about it," I breathe and shift my position on his lap causing him to whimper.

He opens his mouth to say something but I interrupt him by pressing my lips to his. His hands trail down my ribs and to my waist and hips. He then lifts the soft fabric of my shirt up and over my head. It's terrible how right this feels.

He hesitates to touch me again so I start unbuttoning his plaid flannel revealing his muscular chest. My hands bring it halfway down his arms to his elbows and he gets it off the rest of the way.

My mouth moves down to his collarbones and my fingers trace his abs while I press kisses down his chest. He runs his fingers through my hair and I flick my tongue between his pecs. God am I horny. I feel like I haven't done this in ages and it's true; I haven't.

"Oh my god, Cecilia," Jamie moans. His fingers grip the fabric on the sofa as my tongue trails lower down his torso. "why does the fabric of our clothes have to be there?"

"I don't want to risk anything," I come up to press light kisses to his jawline. He whines and I smirk, pulling down his sweats ever so slightly. He bucks his hips against mine allowing me to fully bring his sweatpants off of him. "let's just keep going." I breathe and Jamie glances down at my body before looking back up at me. I feel his cool fingertips trail down my sides again to my leggings and my heart begins to race. What if we both forget about the doctor's orders?

I erase the fear from my mind and position myself so he can take my leggings off of me. Jamie immediately moves his mouth to my chest and I grind my hips against his boner repeatedly while he nips at the skin of my boobs. He lets out muffled moans into my chest. "I want to f*ck you so bad, baby." His looks up at me, chin on my boobs, eyes pleading to rip my undergarments off.

"Jamie..." I trail off, his fingers rubbing in circles on the fabric of my underwear. "oh my god." I moan just as his phone starts ringing.

He glances at the screen and curses, answering the call, still keeping his hand touching my clit with just the thin fabric keeping him from actually touching me. "Hello?"

He furrows his eyebrows. "Yes, this is Jamie...wait, what?"

I look at him, getting worried.

"Okay, thank you for calling, goodbye," he sighs, running his free hand through his hair after tossing his phone onto the chair beside us.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, cupping my hands to his cheek.

"It was the doctor," Jamie mutters, looking to the side into my kitchen.

"And?" I question.

"I tested positive for Syphilis," he replies, looking back into my eyes and I notice his tearing up.

"Did he say if he knows how long you've had it?"

"He said I'm lucky that he caught it when it was just starting to show," Jamie says. "he told me I've probably had it for around a week."

"How'd you not notice it before?" I ask. "there'd be sores on your penis."

"I'm not the type of guy that stares at his dick whenever he takes his clothes off," Jamie tells me and I let out a breathy laugh.

"Are you sure about that?" I ask, remembering him masturbating in my office.

"Are you sure you want to go there?" he licks his lips. I still straddle his hips and run my fingers through his hair.

"Maybe."

"Are you crazy?"

"Nope," I pop the 'p'.

"We just found out that I have Syphilis and you're horny again," Jamie brings a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"You're the one that has it and you still have an erection," I purr into Jamie's ear and he whines. I once again shift my position on his lap and he grumbles out a deep moan.

"It doesn't help that you are right on me," he grips my hips and digs his fingers into my skin. "goddammit, Cecilia, I want you so bad."

"I could say the same about you," I whimper while Jamie hooks his fingers under my panties.

Moments later it finally dawns on me; Jamie has Syphilis.

"Oh my god."

"What's wrong?" Jamie asks me, pressing his lips to my neck.

"We need to get you medication," I breathe as Jamie sucks on my skin.

"Yes we do," he flicks his tongue against my jaw.

"Like now."

"But I can tell how good this is making you feel," he murmurs, lips pressed against my skin. "Don't deny it, baby."

"I know, but your health is my main priority now," I tell him, lifting myself off of him.

"Before we go, you might want to change your underwear," Jamie informs, smirking. "or else it'll look like you went into labor."

I bring my leggings in front of my body to cover the fact that he got me freaking wet. "shut up."

"Just making sure you know," he tells me and then he mutters 'how good I make you feel' under his breath but I pretend I don't hear it. I jokingly roll my eyes at him and walk myself to my bedroom, making sure he doesn't follow me in there.

If he did, my situation might've gotten worse.

While grabbing a new pair of underwear, I begin to notice how electrified I feel. I guess this is what Jamie is always talking about. It gives me the sense that I just got hit by lightning. Except instead of pain there's pleasure. A buzz. Maybe that's why Jamie thought I was drunk. It makes me do things that I wouldn't normally do. The sensation gets one horny. But not even 'horny' can explain how it's got me feeling.

"You almost finished?" Jamie asks me, knocking on the door.

"Yeah, sorry, I barely have any clean underwear," I lie. Just kidding, I've just been thinking about how you make me feel.

I finally bring the underwear up my legs and grab a pair of jeans and do the same with those.

Once I step out of the room, Jamie's leaning against the wall and I clear my throat. "Yeah right." He crosses his arms over his chest.

"What?"

"You just did your laundry yesterday," he reminds me and I mentally slap myself.

"Well...I forgot to wash my underwear," I mutter, my voice wavering.

"Cecilia," Jamie says.

"Jamie," I raise an eyebrow.

"I helped you do your laundry."

"Okay, okay," I lift my arms up, surrendering. "you caught me. Let's get going."

While putting my coat on, I glance over to see Jamie checking his phone. His face distorts into a frown and I try to see what he's looking at but the words on his screen are so small.

"What's wrong?" I question.

"Stephanie," he grumbles.

"What'd she do now?" I zip up my coat and step over towards him so I can see what's going on. When I read what Stephanie posted on Instagram, I snatch Jamie's phone out of his hand. I check out her profile and see random photos of her with many different guys. Every single pose is the same too; her boobs pressed against their side and leg practically wrapped around their waist. "She makes me want to shove a flaming knife up my ass. Jamie, don't let them get to you, okay?"

"I thought you were going to get them to stop," he whispers.

"I know, I'm still trying, but social media is a trap," I tell him. "It's virtually impossible to stop them."

"Why?" he puts his coat on and opens the back door. I can't risk another encounter with my boss.

"You may be able to delete someone's account but they can still come back."

It's sickening how the online world works. You can create however many accounts you'd like without the website's staff suspecting a thing. They don't care what you say about others. The makers of the media are only there for the amount of money they're getting and the popularity. Not the safeness of it.

"I just want them to get bored and move on to someone else," Jamie says to me.

"I know you do," I kiss his cheek and rub patterns on his jaw. Suddenly, an idea pops up in my head. I open my Instagram on my phone and search up his rude exes. In the process I also block my boss. "Jamie, let's take a picture together." I'd rather feel his pain instead of him feeling it. Those girls can talk as much smack as they want.

I might need my own therapist after this. I open the camera in the app and glance up at Jamie, not knowing what pose to do. He wraps his arms around my waist and just as I'm about to take the photo, he cups my cheeks with his palms and presses his lips firmly to mine. The click of the camera sounds and he and I both pull back. Our faces stay close and his warm breath lightly blows against my face.

"God, you're perfect," Jamie whispers and sneakily grabs my phone out of my hand.

He begins typing something in and then furrows his eyebrows. He clears his throat and gives my phone back to me, showing me my notifications.

"Why?"

"Why what?" I notice that the girls had followed me back; perfect.

"Why'd you follow them?" he asks me.

"So they can attack me instead," I reply and notice how Jamie tagged himself in the photo. I begin tearing up when I read the caption he put in: Whipped.

"Why would they attack you?" Jamie questions me.

"Why does it matter?" I sigh.

"Because I care about you, Cecilia," he replies and I look down at my UGGs.

My phone buzzes in my back pocket and I see a comment on the photo. I roll my eyes at it, seeing how it's Iris calling me a whore.

"Let me see," he puts his hand out for me to give him my phone again. I sigh and place it in his palm and he begins typing.

"Jamie."

"Hmm?"

"You don't have to do this," I tell him.

"You don't have to do this either," he says, referring to the photo.

"I'll be fine, okay?" I reassure him. God, I sure hope so. "you already have an addiction hanging on your shoulders. I can't put any more stress on you."

"Cecilia-"

"No, Jamie, I don't want to hear that it's too much for me," I press my index finger to his lips.

Jamie

"No, Jamie, I don't want to hear that it's too much for me," Cecilia presses her index finger to my lips. I sigh and comment what I was going to say to Iris on the photo and close Cecilia's phone and hand it to her. "I can take care of myself, I promise."

"Okay, just remember that I warned you," I mutter. "they nearly drove me to damn suicide." I whisper this under my breath and sit in the driver's seat of her car.

It's so disgusting how someone can go from saying that you have the body of a pornstar to having the body of a drunkard. I rarely ever drink and I go to the gym about every week.

My phone ringing interrupts my thoughts and I ask Cecilia to answer it and put the call on speaker.

"Hello?" she says.

"Hi, this is Doctor Bender," Cecilia furrows her eyebrows. "I have your full test results and we found the DNA of another person in the testing samples."

My face heats up and I find it hard to talk. "What do we need to do?"

"Stop by the offices, I'll have a nurse explain this to you," the doctor tells us.

I bang my hand against the steering wheel when we come up to a red light.

"Jamie, calm down," Cecilia murmurs, rubbing her palm over my hand. "it's okay, let's just go get the information and get your medication."

As we start driving, I get angrier at myself for hooking up with that blonde girl two and a half weeks ago.

"Jamie, what's bothering you?" Cecilia asks me.

"I'll explain after we get my information," I tell her. She puts her palm in mine at a stoplight and I calm down slightly. She nods and gives my hand a small squeeze and I give her a stressed out grin. It's people like this that you don't have to fake a smile for when you're freaking out. You can still smile even when you're dying inside.

"Do you know who Judo Versace is?" the doctor questions me and Cecilia perks up.

"I recognize the name," she mutters.

"Related to the fashion designer, Gianni Versace," he nods before turning back to me. "and you hooked up with Judo who unfortunately has syphilis."

I glance back at Cecilia who raises her eyebrows at me and I push my hair back. "Have you prescribed me any medication?"

"We have Zithromax written down for you but we just need your approval on the antibiotic and you'll be on your way."

I glance at Cecilia and she nods, telling me that it's okay to take Zithromax.

"Alright, doc, is that all?" I ask him.

"That is all," he shakes my hand. "I hope you have a speedy recovery, Jamie. And remember, no sexual activity until all symptoms are gone."

Cecilia

After the doctor's office, he and I make our way to Walgreens and I immediately roll my eyes once I see who's there; Antoine.

"Jamie!" he calls over.

"Hey man," Jamie says awkwardly, but I pretend to not notice it. "what're you doing here?"

"Just buying some condoms-"

"And jelly beans," a girl with short brown hair interrupts him, giggling. "sorry, hi, I'm Lauren."

She puts her hand out and smiles and I shake her hand, introducing myself. "my name's Cecilia."

The environment around the four of us changes drastically. My mouth goes dry looking from Lauren to Antoine. Why don't I remember that name? Ah, yes, because Antoine can't seem to talk about anyone other than Amy. Which I cannot misunderstand since she is a bombshell. But for how damn long he has been coming, I'm sure Lauren had to be a part of his life during some of our sessions. 

"It's nice to meet you!" she exclaims. 

"You too," I grin. I nod at Antoine and slip past them. Motioning for Jamie to follow, he gives me a thankful look.

"What in the ass?" Jamie mutters. 

"Huh?"

"Last time I checked, Antoine was head over heels for Amy," he sighs. 

"How did you know that?" I furrow my eyebrows. Jamie says a vulgar word under his breath.

"I-Uh, it's nothing."

"Jamie."

"I just heard you two talking on Tyler's birthday," Jamie tells me. "When I was looking for you. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop."

"Oh my God," I look away from him and turn my focus to the pharmacy.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. 

I stay silent, unable to figure out a way to react to this information.

"Cecilia," he rests his index finger under my chin, bringing my eyes back to his. "Look at me. I'm sorry, I know none of that was supposed to get out to me. I'll just pretend it never happened."

"That's the thing," I sigh. "You can't just brainwash yourself in order to not know that private information."

"What the hell?"

"Look, it's a whole mess," I say through gritted teeth. "Never bring it up. Ever."

"And why the heck not?" Jamie glares at me. "It's not like it's old news. What is so damn important about it?"

"It's business that is strictly between him and me," I answer him. 

"I literally told you it was a freakin' accident," he seethes. "I was deadass looking for you. For Christ's sake, you two could have had your tongues down each other's throats." 

"What is wrong with you?" 

"I could ask the same about you," Jamie crosses his arms over his chest. "I get that it is private information but you can't blame the guy that likes you for trying to find where you wandered off to. I was genuinely worried about you because Lord knows what could've happened. You know damn well I do not tolerate any person trying to hurt you. It's just a mistake that I happened to hear the fact that Antoine is screwing Tyler's girl."

"What pisses me off is the part where Lauren steps in," I groan. "Almost feels like his dick is careless."

"That's Antoine for you."

"What?"

"He reeks of trouble," Jamie shrugs. "I've known him for years. He's nice and all but he is also a really shitty guy. But Antoine has been a friend to me for some time now."

"Why do you still stay cool with him?" I ask. "Like, since he's a shitty guy and all."

"The group of us are all brothers," he tells me. "Klinger could snort codeine and we'd still love the goof. Maybe try to check him in somewhere. You get the point, right?"

I nod at him. I really do not get the point. I cannot have that negativity in my life. 

"Cecilia," he adds. "I know it makes no sense. I also know you are lying about getting it."

"I am."

"It's okay," Jamie whispers. "It probably seems almost pointless to stay in contact with someone who does all of that stuff. But believe me, us guys stick together. If I found out if you were a stripper, I would not think of you any differently."

"Why not?"

"Because you will always be the person I knew when we met."

-

"How come I've never been told about Lauren?" I question Antoine.

"She and I just got back together," he replies.

"Still."

"I was so focused on Amy that I forgot about the real people in my life."

"Why'd you choose Amy?"

"She's so different...almost manipulative," he tells me. "but I know she just wants to be loved by someone yet she doesn't know how to love someone the right way. Don't get me wrong, she's caring and all. But she's lost."

"Does this mean you're done with her then?" I ask Antoine.

"Pretty much," he nods.

"That must feel better."

"It does," Antoine tells me. "I feel like crap for not being there for Lauren when I should've been."

I nod, glancing at the clock and seeing how adding Lauren to his appointment caused our the time to go a bit longer than intended. I shake his hand and he steps out of the office leaving me one last client; Connor.

I mentally swear and kindly tell him it's time for his appointment. He takes a seat and stares at me, intensely.

"So, Connor," I bite my pen. "you wanted to have your appointment earlier...why's that?"

"Well, I've had something to tell you about and it was killing me to wait any longer," Connor replies.

"And?"

"I-I'm gay," he mutters. "That's why I've been so messed up lately." I write that down on the notepad seated on my lap.

"Go on."

"I've always been sexually confused and now I suddenly find myself wanting men and no women."

"I'm glad you've come to peace with that," I give him a warm smile. "I've gone through the same thing. I had even experienced with both sexes. It's extremely stressful and it feels great to know that you've finally figured it out."

"It does and I'm a lot happier now with my new boyfriend," he blushes. "his name's Dylan."

He says this with a smile and I glance at my notepad, noticing the difference from last weeks appointment to now.

I must be doing something right.


End file.
